My daughter (25, F) asked my husband (M54) and I (F53) to pay for her to get a hysterectomy... I told her hell no.

My daughter got her B.A. and then her Masters [degree] in history from the university. She never looked for a job. We've been supporting her for the last two years while she "works" on her Ph.D.<br><br>My husband and I asked her why on earth she's doing it if she has no intention of being in academia. We encouraged her to find a job in her field, but she says she wants to be a stay at home mom.<br><br>My daughter has been with her boyfriend of 8 years for the last 8 years. We assumed they'd get married soon, but they said they won't until she's done with school. My husband and I asked them when they plan on having kids. My daughter said she wanted to be done with school, but my son in law said he wanted to wait til he's 35.<br><br>I (and my husband) were taken aback e by that. We asked my daughter what the hell she was doing with her life. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she wants to have kids, this is a terrible use of her time. Plus, if he wants to be in his 30s by the time he has kids, that means she'd be 33 or older. Her ovaries will be dying at that age. She told us she was 100% certain she didn't want kids. She hated the idea of being pregnant/breastfeeding/etc. That's why she wants a hysterectomy. Her bf doesn't want her to have one, since it's irreversible and he might want kids in the future... but he'd only want them if he was 35 or older, since he refuses to have kids when he's younger than 35.<br><br>I told her we'd pay for it in the same year pigs learn to fly. We've given her so much already. Her education, food, living arrangements, medical expenses. All of it. She told us that if we paid for the hysterectomy she wouldn't have to worry about being a burden any longer since she wouldn't have to worry about the burden of having kids. I told her having kids in her 30s would be the ultimate form of being a burden on us. We would help her with kids. My husband and I both make good money. We'd help her with kids. But not if she's having them at the age of 34. That's just too damn old.<br><br>She told us to stop seeing her like a burden and to respect her decision. I told her to stop seeing our unlimited support like a given and to grow the hell up.<br><br>She called her brother and my husband's sister and they both said she should get the hysterectomy if that's what she wants.<br><br>Her bf called us later and told us that if we wanted him to have kids with her one day, we'd pay for the hysterectomy. Someone told him my take on the situation because he referenced the "burden" thing word for word. I told him I wanted my daughter to have kids with him at a sensible age, and if she would agree to having kids at 27/8 instead of 33/4, I'd pay for it.<br><br>He said my daughter would never do that and that she'd rather never have kids than have them that young. I told him that was too bad. He offered me an ultimatum of him never having kids or me paying for the hysterectomy.<br><br>I told him I can live with him never becoming a dad if it means my daughter doesn't turn into a geriatric pregnancy on our hands.