I was high for my entire relationship with my now ex-wife

My ex and I met in college, she was in my anthropology class, I was in the high seat and she sat in front of me, she had the cutest strawberry blonde hair. We'd chat, have lunch together after class. I never expected her to give me the time of day, but she was always so bright to be around. <br>One day I got the courage to ask her to smoke a bowl with me and she agreed. We went to my dorm room, she got upset with me for trying to hit on her, but then ended up kissing me. Our first kiss was with my head in her lap. It was an instant romance, we were infatuated with each other. We got married our senior year with the blessings of her (conservative, very Christian) parents and my (atheist) parents. We had a small ceremony with her parents and siblings. <br><br>I worked as a line cook at a BBQ restaurant in town and she worked at our school's daycare. I was happy being high, a little high all the time. <br><br>We moved to Chicago and I was able to pick up a cook job at a new restaurant, but she couldn't find a job and ended up spending most of her time waiting tables. She broke down and told me, "I don't want to be a waitress, I'm educated, I love kids, I want to be the best mom I can be." So she quit her job and ended up staying home and smoking weed with me. We smoked more than ever before, I saved up and bought an ounce, and rolled a fat blunt every morning and smoked it before going to work. She liked to get high before going to sleep, but I liked to be high when I woke up. <br><br>Then I got a call from her mother. She was frantic, and worried. "We can't keep coming up to visit you guys, you're always stoned. Can we come stay when your lease is up and help you get into a new place?" She told me she wanted us to stop smoking weed, but I just laughed and said there was nothing wrong with it. <br><br>Then my wife told me she was pregnant. We were both so excited, she had always wanted to have kids and be a mom. I was over the moon, I always wanted to have a child, but never thought I could when I was getting high all the time. <br><br>We decided to keep the pregnancy a secret until we had a baby shower. I asked her mother to come visit us and she agreed. I had a few issues with my job, was late a few times, but my boss forgave me. I promised to lay off the weed, but I couldn't. My wife and I were both so scared, but we decided to keep her pregnancy a secret. <br><br>Then I woke up to find my wife had trashed our living room. There was trash and broken shit all over the floor. I was surprised to see her career as a daycare worker had ended. "I can't do that work being this pregnant." She told me. I left for work and couldn't stop crying. My wife called our pastor and I overheard her talking to him about being good, and that she'd do anything she could to be a good mom. She told me she wanted to stop smoking weed and I said she was weak and "I mean, it's not the damned devil's lettuce or anything." <br><br>I got a call from my boss later and he told me he was letting me go. I got drunk and went out and had sex with another woman. And a few days later I was going away for the weekend and my wife wouldn't let me leave. I had a whole bottle of booze in my car and she kept telling me, "No, no, no, you can't do that. That's not okay." She was right, and I ended up getting arrested and calling my dad to bail me out. <br><br>He came and picked me up and asked me what was wrong with me and I told him, "I don't know." I said, "I don't know. I don't know." He took me to stay with him and later my wife called me and said she wanted a divorce. I said, "Okay, I understand." She told me, "I feel like I've been married to a piece of shit for three years." <br><br>I never expected her to give me the time of day, but she was always so bright to be around. When I met her, she had the cutest strawberry blonde hair.