I discovered 4chan. I feel like I've been punched in the heart.

I'm a 35 year old mom of three. I'm not dumb. I know the internet has it's dark alleys but I was unprepared for the utter depravity of 4chan. I was in tears by the time I clicked on one of the boards and then immediately felt guilty for feeling that way; like I was some fucking delicate flower who can't handle a few words on a computer. I'm *angry*.<br><br>I'm angry that this is the world my kids are growing up in. I'm angry that people can be so horrible. I'm angry that I feel the need to tell my kids not to talk to people online because there are child predators and sickos everywhere in the world, but on 4chan especially. I'm angry that I have to start a conversation with my kids about sex because now that they've been on the internet they deserve to have an honest and full discourse on the topic, and I want *them* to know that I'm always here for them. Living in this world *with them*.<br><br>Then I was *more* angry when I went to tell my husband about it and he knew what it was. He's known what 4chan is for years. I didn't tell him that I was mortified that I was so naive. I didn't tell him that I was disappointed in myself for being so innocent.<br><br>I put the phone down after a minute and went back to mopping the kitchen floor. That's when I heard my youngest daughter come up the stairs from the playroom where my older two had been occupying her for a while. She's usually very clingy, so I was surprised that she had been down there for almost three hours. When she came up, I asked if she had fun with her siblings and she was beaming. I asked if they played anything fun, and she said they showed her the dragon show (Steven Universe) and she loved it. I was so happy for her that she got to have that time with her siblings and that she was so happy.<br><br>I went back to mopping the floor and suddenly I wasn't so angry anymore. The world isn't a terrible place. People are generally good. I'm not a naive fool for hoping that my kids can grow up being people who are kind to one another; I'm a good mother.