Every night, my girlfriend wakes me up to tell the exact same joke.

Before i start, i feel like i should let something very clear: I absolutely love Ellen. We’ve been living together for three years now and, quite frankly, i couldn’t imagine my life without her. Ellen is the kindest, most loving person i have ever met and, even though she has her small defects, she’s the missing piece i never knew i needed in my life.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>There is, however, one peculiarity of hers that in these last three years i have never been able to get used to: every night, before we fall asleep, Ellen wakes me up and tells me the exact same joke. *Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.* Then she laughs like insane and, right after, she falls asleep.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>At first i thought it was just a one time thing, something to break the ice after the first night we spent together. I honestly found that extremely cute and i was more than happy to go on with this cute game we were playing for a while. It was fun, it was lovely and it was extremely sweet, but that was just the first month. After that, the joke started getting annoying as hell. I couldn’t go to sleep, even when i was tired as hell, without having to listen to that goddamned sentence. It became so repetitive, so tedious, and i couldn’t even complain, because Ellen was too busy crying of laughter to pay me any attention. I seriously considered talking to her about it, but, again, Ellen was too perfect to ruin our relationship because of some silly joke. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>So i endured it. I grunted, i laughed sarcastically, i even considered breaking up with her, but still nothing. Every night i was forced to endure that sentence, like i was in some kind of super-awkward Dumbo movie. I started sleeping little, because i didn’t want to have to listen to that goddamned thing anymore, but still i could feel myself, every morning, growing more tired and more tired. So, in the end, i just had to suck it up and listen to that joke. Maybe sooner or later i’d get used to it.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>But i never got used to it. At some point i seriously thought i was going insane. Every night, before falling asleep, Ellen would say that exact sentence and laugh like crazy, and the worst part was that, even if i was tired as hell, i couldn’t manage to get any sleep at all before hearing it. I remember, in particular, one night i was working a double shift. I had worked for 16 hours on a row and was tired to death, but still, when i lied down, i had to listen to that sentence. I tried to fall asleep as fast as possible, but she would wake me up. I seriously thought i was going insane at that point.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>At a certain point i decided to play along. I provided Ellen with the punchline in exchange for some sleep, but she didn’t laugh and still fell asleep silently. I tried again the following night and still she didn’t laugh. I tried to laugh along with her, but she still fell asleep with no smile on her face. The only time she reacted differently was when i tried to change the punchline. I seriously just wanted to change it a bit to let her know i was growing tired, but i never expected her to start crying. She lay there in the bed, looking at me with tears in her eyes, repeating the exact phrase she told me every night. I felt extremely guilty at the time. I had broken that ritual, that cute tradition that she had created, simply because i was growing tired. I tried to comfort her and, after a while, she managed to calm down and fall asleep. I just lied next to her and watched her sleep. When she was crying, i had promised i would never betray her again, and, looking at how beautiful she was, her breathing steady as she slept peacefully, i felt like i couldn’t betray her. I loved her so much. And that was, well, pretty much the end of the problem for me.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>*Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.* Now i could laugh at it. I loved that joke. I never imagined i’d get used to it, but there i was, laughing, every time she told it. She was my baby, my little girl, my love. I would protect her all her life, even from the pranks of an unnamed narrator. I was soon too sleep to think any further than that, so i fell asleep next to Ellen, with the biggest smile on my face.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I woke up the next morning without any problem, and felt extremely well. My tiredness had suddenly gone, and i couldn’t explain why. I looked next to me, and realized that Ellen wasn’t there, but that in her place there was a note. I opened it, and felt an icy cold running down my spine. *Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.* And then i knew something extremely wrong was happening.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I don’t know where Ellen is, but i’m seriously scared to think what the hell is going on. I’m scared, terrified. I just want her to be okay, to be happy. I want our relationship to go on. I love her so much. Please, if you have any information about her, contact me through my professor. I’m just a math book, and i have too many problems. My baby is missing. <br><br>&#x200B;