I don't wanna do this

I'm a homeless mom of two, we're currently staying in shelter. I've been drinking way more than I should be and I can feel myself shutting down. At first I was panicking. I just want to take care of my kids. But now I'm so tired I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep forever. But in the back of my mind I'm thinking I'll just go shoplift somewhere. I don't wanna do it, I don't think I should have to do it. I don't wanna be in this situation. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't focus on anything and I'm so tired. But I've done this for so long, I can't not do it. I've only been caught twice out of hundreds of times I've done this. But this time I'm so tired I don't know if I can get it together enough to do it. And even if I do, I don't know how much longer I can continue. I'm like a zombie right now.