My wife just asked me to hold one of her premium anime figurines so I can "feel closer to her hobbies". I'm 35 and I'm filled with regret.

I 35(M) and my wife is 34(F). We have an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. I have a very good career as an attorney in one of the top firms in downtown Los Angeles, California. I'm well off and can afford anything my family needs. I'm also well educated, I studied at Harvard and I'm very smart. I'm 6ft1, 190 pounds and in great shape (I work out everyday). I have blue eyes and brown hair. I'm a great provider for my family and have never strayed. I'm a good father and a loving husband. I'm also humble and kind, I volunteer at this local church near our home and have donated to countless charities. <br><br>But despite all of this, as I grasped the anime figurine and noticed how premium it was- it felt like it was made of porcelain. I can't describe the premium quality of it, but I can tell that it's a very expensive model. When I asked my wife about it she told me it was a special gift her friend got her from Japan and that it was premium quality. <br><br>I couldn't help but feel empty and void. When I look at myself in the mirror, I just see this emotionless husk of a man staring back. The figurine gave me a sense of emptiness that I've never felt before. When I look at my wife, I just see this beautiful woman that is taking care of our kids and house while I bust my ass for her. I wonder if there is more to life and if I'm just going through the motions. I constantly reflect on my life, feeling empty and useless. I want to be this emotionless husk of a man. I want to break free of my restrictive and orderly lifestyle.