Dear Parents Whose Adult Children Don't Talk To Them - It's Always Your Fault.

You were the adult when they were a child. If their first instinct, as soon as they get out from under your thumb, is to completely ignore you forever, you need to own the fact that you messed up as a parent at several, consistent, points along the road throughout your child's upbringing. They hate you for a good reason, and they're probably better off without you in their lives.<br><br>There are a number of forms of abuse that range from over-parenting, to neglect, over-discipline to straight up negative enabling behavior.<br><br>I have friends who don't talk to their parents because the strictness was so suffocating, and friends who don't talk to their parents because they were lazy bums who never took an interest in their child's life. There are tons of other reasons why a child would think it's best to cut an adult out of their lives, and 90% of the time, it's the fault of the adult.<br><br>This is the unpopular part though: I don't have a problem with it. I don't think someone should be "forgiving" just because the person who made their life a living hell is old and might not be around for much longer. I don't think an adult should be expected to be able to forgive an antagonist from their childhood just because they happened to share a womb or a rooftop or a last name for a while.<br><br>Life is short, and sometimes the best decision you can make, as an adult, is to get some emotional distance from people who made your life awful, even if it was "for your own good". Parents who lose contact with their adult children 100% did something to deserve it, and the kids who ditch these bums are better off without a toxic "family" in their lives.<br><br>EDIT: <br>To the people in the comments defending parents and blaming the kids: If you're a kid, then you're biased and lack perspective, if you're an adult, then you are part of the problem. Grow up, and stop making excuses for people who abused you. Stop blaming yourself, too.