I was kidnapped by a seeming beggar as a child (I only know this after reading a police report from the incident last year)

Not sure if anyone has shared anything similar. I just wanted to get this off my chest seeing as though I just got back from the most amazing therapy session.<br><br><br>I. Background Info<br>--------------------<br><br>* Let me start by saying that I am a 22 year-old woman who is currently in university. I was born and raised in Toronto Canada and have lived all over the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) for most of my life. I am the youngest of three children.<br>* I have some kind of retrograde amnesia. I don't know the technical term for it, so I am just calling it retrograde amnesia. For the sake of the story I have always known and remembered everything that happened after this incident up until now.<br>* I have very few, fragmented memories of my childhood (I don't know how far back it goes) up until I was 14.<br>* When I turned 14, we moved to a different city. My parents said we moved because my mom got a new job, but in hindsight my mom had been working from home for a few months as I remember helping her with her work (she was a freelance web developer).<br>* My parents never allowed me to know anything about my life before the move, other than the fact that we lived in Toronto. My room was completely stripped and remade after the move and I was not allowed any mementos from my past life.<br>* I was very confused by the move, as I did not have any recollection of living in Toronto prior to this, but I do remember being really confused as to why I couldn't have anything from my old life with me as I grew up.<br><br>II. What I Know<br>----------------<br><br>* I finally gained access to a police report detailing the life I lived in Toronto and I am not sure how to feel about it.<br>* I was born in Toronto General Hospital and was born prematurely.<br>* My mother was put into a drug rehabilitation centre for a year after I was born. I was bounced back and forth between my father and grandparents.<br>* After my mom was released from rehab, my parents got back together and I was living with them. A few months later my parents separated again.<br>* After the breakup, my mom was living with her parents. I lived with my grandparents for half of the week and my father for the other half of the week.<br>* I was taken by my father while my mother was at work, and he held me and my siblings (I have one older sister and brother, I was the youngest of them by 11 years) hostage and burned down the house with us in it. I was only a toddler (2 years old) at the time and was the only survivor. My siblings and father died in the fire.<br>* From here on out, I was living with my grandparents and my mom (who had thrown herself out of a window when my dad set the house on fire).<br>* I was a victim of sexual abuse and molestation as a child. I was abused by both parents and my father's friends. The abuse was so severe that it even appeared to cause a developmental delay as I did not speak or walk until I was almost 4.<br>* One night my grandfather caught both of my parents in his house. They had broken in and my mom was molesting me on my grandparents' couch. My grandparents got into a shouting match with my parents and called the police. Both of my parents were arrested on the scene.<br>* I had to be placed in foster care momentarily until we could get everything sorted out. My grandparents were given full custody of me when I was 3 years old. When I was 4 they bought a house in a more suburban area of Toronto.<br>* Despite everything that happened to me as a child, I was a happy kid and excelled academically up until I was 9.<br>* When I was 9 years old, I was kidnapped by a beggar. A homeless person had gained access to the gated community we lived in and kidnapped me after witnessing my walk home from school. It was winter and there was lots of snow. The only thing I remember about the kidnapping is that they took my snow pants, boots and parka and left me with my underwear in the cold (I don't know if this was done to keep me warm or injure me). I was taken to what I only know as "The Shack" which was a small wooden hut on a frozen lake. It was dark and cold and I had no food or water. After a few days I got really sick and they took me to the hospital where I was discovered kidnapped.<br>* After the hospital report, I was placed in respite care (a foster home set up for short term stays until the situation is resolved). My grandparents were given a restraining order not to contact me and we were in the process of a custody hearing.<br><br>III. The Change in My Life<br>---------------------------<br><br>* The next entry in the police reports is my grandparents' death certificate. My grandmother died of a heart attack and my grandfather died of a brain aneurism.<br>* There is no record of my mother or father being set free, but my father passed away in jail and my mother was released from jail when I was 11 (I remember my grandparents telling me that my dad was now watching over me and that I was to never let my mom into my life). I did not see my birth parents after that, and was placed in foster care.<br><br>IV. The Rest of My Life<br>-------------------------<br><br>* When I turned 14 my foster parents received a call from a lawyer on my behalf. A trust put into my name by my grandparents was released to them when I turned 14. The trust included thousands of dollars and a letter detailing how they wanted me to live if anything happened to them. It included a lengthy list of stipulations on how my life was to be lived if they were no longer alive.<br>* The stipulations included no contact with my birth parents, a life of absolute secrecy. We were not allowed to know my last name, where I lived previously or anything relating to my past life.<br>* My foster parents were only told that my grandparents had been murdered (I now know its not true as both of their deaths were due to natural causes).<br>* We moved to a new city and I started over with a new life. I started going to a new school and my life significantly improved after the move. Let's just say it was a whole new life for me.<br>* Up until I turned 22, I had no recollection of my past. I had a great life despite everything and attended a great university.<br>* After my graduation I decided to hire a PI to find out more about my past life. I paid him to get police reports detailing the life I lived in Toronto and was finally able to see the truth.<br><br><br>The weirdest thing is I do not have any recollection of any of this happening to me at all. I am in therapy to deal with this and my psychologist said that I should be proud of myself for being brave enough to look into this. She said that dissociation is a defence mechanism and that I dissociated my past life as a way to cope. I'm seeing her every week to work through my past trauma and I'm already feeling a lot better now that I know the truth.<br><br>Edit:<br><br>I just wanted to add that the last thing in the police report is the disappearance of my mom.<br><br>Edit 2:<br><br>I wasn't allowed to read any of the other police reports! Only the ones that my grandparents deemed acceptable were allowed to be read.<br><br>Edit 3:<br><br>I am currently trying to see if I can get access to the trust now its in my name and get it released.<br><br>Edit 4:<br><br>I wasn't told what my life was like before the move. I honestly had no idea that my grandparents died. I just woke up one day and had a weird feeling that something was wrong and then everything just changed. I was not allowed to go back to my old school, my room was completely remade, my dad was not around any more, and my grandparents were dead. I don't even know what my dad's name is. My foster parents only told me that my grandparents were murdered (which is not true). I was told to keep a very low profile and never disclose anything about my life (I'm not even supposed to tell anyone that I am adopted or know anything about my life beforehand). Had I not hired a PI, I would know nothing now.<br><br>Edit 5: I'm seriously considering getting a DNA test (I don't know if this will actually do anything). I am very curious to find out if my parents are still alive as their disappearances/deaths are very suspicious to me. Anyways, thanks to all who have reached out to me and offered support. I appreciate it.