My husband's ex is in a better position to help him than I am. That's fine.

I married a man with a young daughter, and his ex is still in his life as coparent.<br>When we were dating, it was hard for me to accept that his ex would have to be part of his life forever. I worried that she still loved him (she doesn't) or that he still loved her (he doesn't), and that I would never be as important in his life. <br><br>Then I got to know her, and we're friends now. I've never felt bad about our arrangement for a while until the other day.<br><br>His ex controls the schedule for his weekend parenting, and some weeks he has to go without seeing his daughter for a while. He was sad about how long his daughter would have to go without seeing him, and was just generally upset and needed someone to listen. <br><br>His ex and I were talking and I told her how upset he was. She immediately offered to let him have their daughter that weekend instead of her. Her reasoning was that she was a single mom without support, and that when her daughter is with OP, he has my support and attention. So it's easier for him to have their daughter alone than it is for her.<br><br>This makes sense to me, but I've been thinking about it for over a year now. I was prepared for the change in dynamic. She's not. <br><br>Now I feel bad when he comes to me with a parenting problem. I more and more frequently tell him to ask his coparent because she'll have a better answer, or better advice. <br><br>I'm not mad about it. I understand that they have a shared experience and history that I can't replicate. They both know their child better than I do. I'm not hurt that she's a better resource or support for him than I am in the parenting realm. <br><br>But I find it a little sad, and part of me wishes things were different.