I unknowingly took a benzo with my barbiturate

I ordered phenobarbital online a week or so ago and today was my first time trying it because I have always been a little skeptical about the whole black market pill game. The pills came in a foil bag with the words phenobarbital written on them and in a plastic bag. They were pill shaped and had the white color phenobarbital pills and the white color with the round shape that phenobarbital also comes in. I was extremely skeptical that they were real so I plugged my nose and sniffed one. It smelled like my prescription Lamictal.<br><br>I took two of the round pills and waited 10 minutes. When it felt like nothing happened I took two more. That was a mistake. I usually do not take benzo’s anymore but when I took them they were ativan. I’m pretty sure that with barbiturates you should not take any benzo’s (even if they were real) but the fact that I unknowingly took benzo’s with my barbiturates makes it even more scary. I felt like I was dead. It was not a good feeling. I could not feel my arms or my legs. I felt like I was just a head and I was dead. I could feel my body and I wanted to get up but I couldn’t. It was scary.<br><br>I had the feeling of death. At one point I had a tunnel vision and saw a light. I thought I was dead. I had to be carried to my room. I guess at one point I was able to get up and try to drink water. I was not able to feel my arms or my legs and I lost feel of my body for a minute. I thought I was dead. I saw that tunnel of light and I had the feeling of death. I remember my dad crying and my boy saying stop please stop because he thought I had overdosed and I know it felt like I had. I could not feel my body. I was dead. I felt dead.<br><br>I got up and threw up. I had to be supported because I could not walk. I was not able to move anything. I felt like a zombie. I feel like a zombie right now. I’m not even sure how I’m writing this. I was carried by boyfriend to my car and we went to the hospital. I was supported by him the whole time. I can’t even remember how I feel right now. I don’t feel like I’m living right now. I guess I was able to watch tv in the hospital waiting room because I remember watching the movie Dolphin Tale 2. I remember crying at the part of the movie when Winter the dolphin died.<br><br>I’m just so confused and I don’t remember anything because I was talked to by the emergency room people and I don’t remember any of it. I had to keep telling them my name because I couldn’t remember. I don’t remember any of it. All I remember is them putting the stickers on me and sticking the wires to my chest. I felt cold and I had to be covered with a blanket. The light was so bright. I don’t know how I’m even typing this right now. I feel like a zombie.<br><br>I got there at 8:04 and I left at 11:00. I have only felt good for the last two hours so that means I went through that feeling for 2 1/2 hours. I told them the truth at the hospital. I told them that I had taken phenobarbital and they told me that they were positive that it was fenatanyl. I know that it was not fenatanyl because I don’t react that way when I take fenatanyl and it was definitely not fenatanyl. I can tell. I know. I know my drugs. I am not stupid. I know my drugs.<br><br>I don’t know if I should be scared. I know that I didn’t die but it felt like I had. I almost cried at the part of Dolphin Tale 2 where Winter died. I know that I’m not dead or anything but I feel like I am. I just want to cry and cry. All I can do is cry. I feel so different. I feel like I’m dead. I wanted to cry when I watched Winter die. I don’t understand how I’m still alive.<br><br>Edit: wow. Thanks for all the support. I just want to say that I am okay and I feel okay. I’m just a little confused. I feel fine. You guys are the best. I cannot thank you enough for all the support you have given me. <br><br>Edit 2: I wasn’t trying to suicidal. I’m fine editing my first edit. I am not okay. I am extremely confused and I’m crying a lot. I almost cried when I watched the movie Dolphin Tale 2. I’m editing my last edit because I am not okay. I’m crying and I’m scared. I’m sorry if I scared anyone. I’m just really confused and I can’t stop crying.