I realized today just how much I took my looks for granted.

I’m 21 and my hair is thinning on the top. My hairline has moved forward a bit over the past year. It’s nothing bad or anything extremely noticeable, but it has bothered me a lot. A good friend of mine had a job interview today and I went with him just to be supportive. He went for a manager position and everyone (the people in charge of hiring) was extremely impressed by him, they pretty much hired him on the spot. I was the one driving and they asked him to stay behind for a few minutes to show him around and to get to know him a bit more, so I waited in the car for almost an hour until he got back. He was so excited and thanked me for coming with him. Driving back home he asked if I was okay because I was a bit quiet. I told him I was fine and that it’s great that he got the job. He kept insisting to know what was wrong and I told him nothing. He kept pushing me until I told him I was a little sad because of my hair. He laughed and said I’m being ridiculous, it’s nothing to worry about. I told him that it’s killing me inside knowing I’ll be bald by 40 and that it’s not nothing to worry about. I told him how I took my looks for granted, I was never insecure or anything, I used to hear compliments from people and I never thought I was doing anything wrong about my hair for it to be thinning now. Now that I know I’m losing it, I am really growing to hate myself for taking it for granted, I wish I had a routine and took better care of my hair. I wish I didn’t take it for granted, I wish I knew how much it would hurt now by not taking care of it well, I wish I could go back and tell myself to take care of my hair because no one knows if they’re prone to balding. I’ve been using cheap shampoo and conditioner my whole life and I’m now starting to do some research on how to keep it healthy and prevent it from worsening. I feel like I’m losing myself and I don’t know what to do.