AITA for telling my MIL that I will not put my grandkids through what my husband put me through

I am a byproduct of infidelity and have been open about that. My father cheated on his wife and I was the result. My parents marriage was not happy and through the years my mother made sure I knew how much having me hurt her and her marriage. After my father died when I was 14, she really made me feel like I was the reason her life was ruined and she wished she had gotten an abortion. I have therapy but sometimes it feels like my whole life my mom has blamed me for everything wrong in her life. <br><br>My husband “John” (31) and I (28) have been together for about 7 years and I am honest about why I do not want kids. Our family knows and they have tried to change my mind but I have explained how awful it was and I don’t want my kids to feel the way I did. <br><br>John’s mother “Miriam” (53) is getting desperate. She had two boys and no grandkids yet. She has offered to help with finances and help raise the kids and even said she would help pay for our house if we had kids. <br><br>Yesterday she came to visit and told me that she was getting older and doesn’t have much time left to be a grandma. I said I was sorry and she told me that she thought I was being selfish for not giving her grandkids or my husband a baby. I told her I had valid reasons but she said that she knew how hard it was to raise my husband and his brother, being a single mom with no help, but she didn’t want to miss out on being a grandparent. I said that I was sorry but I wasn’t going to change my mind and my husband agreed. <br><br>She told me I was being selfish and I got fed up and told her that I was not going to do what her son did to me. She said what are you talking about and I told her that she did to her step-grandkids what she did to my husband and if she wanted grandkids so badly she could take care of the ones she has. <br><br>She started crying and said that those kids were not hers and she didn’t love them. My husband got mad and told her that she needed to go. <br><br>She called me a very nasty word and left. My husband called his brother and told him what happened. Now his brother and his wife are calling us telling us that we are AH for saying what we did and calling them.DTOH (daughters théir older). <br><br>My husband and his brother had a serious talk and his brother agreed that we are not in the wrong.