confession (/c/confession)
I Lured a Homeless Woman to My House, Hoping To Fuck Her
I stole all my mother's recipes when I moved away for college and used them all over the world whenever I had a real kitchen to use
I have a mental illness and I haven’t been taking my medication, just to see if people notice a change.
When I was little, I would wipe my ass with towels that were hanging up
I stole my friends girlfriend to get back at him and it worked.
I stole a blankie from a 2 year old at church.
I stole a 4 pack of the Pokémon TCG booster boxes for 3 years straight.
I caught my friend who needed a visa, and I helped him get one, and he took a shit in our bathtub.
I lied about the severity of the pain I was in to get into ER fast.
When I was younger I would always wipe my snot on the inside of my shirt collars
I made my wife cry because of a hockey game
I cloned my neighbors house key so I could break in and use his gaming system when he wasn’t home
I broke my cousin's leg the night before she went to prom for being vainer than me.
I’m a female, and a nurse, and I intentionally stick needles in the balls of men that I know or find out are cheating on their partners
Everytime I get really high, I make a copy of my friends chippers and test them for anything else. I don’t tell him and take huge bongs before he passes me a chip, if he notices I’m acting funny after I just act like I’m already buzzed.
I used to work at McDonald's and I always spit in customers food if they replace it.
I changed the color of the painting
I gave my dying Grandpa an incorrect version of his favorite recipe to get him to admit he can’t taste anymore.
I lie to my boyfriend about my plan to have a baby soon.
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