Grown adults saying 2010-2020 was 10 years ago is not the same as a 5 year old saying 2005 was 10 years ago. anon • 2025-09-24 01:15 UTC
When you're hungover, saying "oh it was worth it" is like what a battered wife says. anon • 2025-09-23 18:20 UTC
Everyone who has ever said "you can just come and get it" has been unable to put on a condom up to that point anon • 2025-09-22 11:00 UTC
Police say "stay safe" in the same voice they say "stay in your car" when they're about to arrest you and beat the shit out of you. anon • 2025-09-22 09:00 UTC
Speed limits are a thing, but I haven't seen a single speed limit on any elevator in my life anon • 2025-09-22 05:20 UTC
All of the actors in the world could be buried together in a single giant hole. anon • 2025-09-22 02:30 UTC
Cannabis is illegal in the UK, but they allow the nationwide growth of a plant that kills more people than cannabis ever has anon • 2025-09-22 01:30 UTC
Anti-Vax people think that the government can start a global pandemic but can't open your mail. anon • 2025-09-21 23:25 UTC
Is it weird that we just blindly accept that fast food places are using washed up potatoes to make fries and not whole ones? anon • 2025-09-21 19:00 UTC
Don't tell Rand Paul that Ric Flair was a limousine riding son of a bitch. anon • 2025-09-20 18:40 UTC
Every kiss with a partner prior to your first kiss is an unrequited kiss. anon • 2025-09-20 03:20 UTC
Without the ability for people to say "they're just joking" everyone would lose 30 pounds of emotional dead weight. anon • 2025-09-20 02:40 UTC
'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.' - A. Whitney Brown is one of the best quotes of all time, but sounds even funnier if you replace 'vegetarian' with 'brony'. anon • 2025-09-20 02:32 UTC