I am dying. I just can't anymore.

I (32, M) feel like I'm an animal that they have abused, placed in a cage, and sucked the life out of. I am dead inside. I cannot do anything anymore. I just want to be left alone to die in peace. I am tired of living like this.<br><br>I have no idea how I ended up this way.<br>I have no idea what I did to offend the gods so much, to send me this wretched fellow to live with. <br><br>My wife (34, F) is the most non-descript woman ever; she is average on every parameter, has no redeeming quality at all, and does not have a single positive trait. She is a useless, lifeless, purposeless, passionless, obsessive-compulsive liar<br><br>We got married 4 years ago, she is my first and only girlfriend ever<br><br>What really was my sin to be punished so harshly? What did I do? I left the city I grew up in, cut off contact with everyone, and began living in a new town as a completely new person, with a completely new personality. I thought that I had my life in order, that I had finally achieved my own happiness. So I got married to her. But from the moment we got married, everything fell apart, and I began to live in a nightmare that I could not wake up from. The very thought of her makes me sick. She is the most inconsiderate and abusive woman I've ever encountered.<br><br>Actually, the first sign of trouble was at our wedding. She intentionally wore her white wedding dress like it was black, and then walked around the whole reception with her head held high like a bull in a china shop, as if she owned the place. She kept laughing at my expense, belittling my jokes, and stealing the show, even when we were supposed to be the center of attention. It was just a preview for the horrible behavior I have had to endure over the past four years. I just don't know what I was thinking, or why I let it go on this long. I was so naive. I just assumed things would get better after the wedding, but they only got worse.<br><br>As soon as we got married, she became the most abusive and toxic person ever. She threw a wine glass at me. She slapped me many times in restaurants. She gets mad just because I yawn. She thinks she is above the law and will not hesitate to shoot me dead if she thinks she can get away with it. She uses weapons to threaten and silence me, then she lies about it when I confront her. She will attack me without warning or cause. I think she doesn't like speaking because she knows she is insane and that she is bad at speaking and can be caught out. So she will just attack me out of the blue. I think she doesn't like speaking because she is bad at speaking and can be caught out. So she will just attack me out of the blue. She even went so far as to say that she will attack and kill me the moment I speak. I don't know why she thinks she is so special.<br><br>I've tried to talk to her about the abuse and the problems in our relationship, but she always cuts me off. I can't even finish a single sentence around her without being interrupted and shut down. It's like she thinks she's above me, that I shouldn't be speaking. She doesn't even let me finish a sentence, but somehow manages to twist everything I say to make me look like a liar. It's absolutely remarkable.<br><br>When I first married her, I thought she was a very reserved, traditional person, maybe even a little introverted. I was just being foolish and naive. As soon as we got married, she suddenly turned into an attention-seeking clown. She desperately craves constant attention from men. She won't hesitate to cross boundaries or violate my personal space to get attention and sympathy from them. She doesn't care if she hurts me in the process. She doesn't care if she destroys my reputation or makes me look like a bad husband in the process. All that matters is that she gets attention, no matter the cost. And to make matters worse, she flat out refuses to work or earn a living, leaving me to provide for her while she goes around seeking attention and sympathy.<br><br>I've tried to talk to her, to explain that what she's doing is hurtful and unacceptable. She always cuts me off and doesn't let me finish speaking. She's incredibly abusive and toxic. She once attacked me with a wine glass, and she doesn't think she did anything wrong. In fact, she thinks she's so smart that she can get away with anything, including murder, if she just lies enough. It's horrible to be treated this way, and it's even worse that she doesn't think she's done anything bad.<br><br>I've tried to talk to her about all the problems in our relationship - the abuse, the lack of intimacy, the constant interruptions, the attention-seeking, the violation of my personal space, the refusal to work, and more. She never lets me finish talking. She always cuts me off and goes off on a tangent about how I'm a liar, how I'm lazy, how I'm a bad husband, and more. It's absolutely exhausting and emotionally draining, and I don't know how much more of this I can take.<br><br>I'm tired of being treated like this. I don't know how much more of it I can handle. I feel like I'm dying inside. I just want her to leave me alone and let me live my life in peace. I don't want to be treated like an animal anymore. I want her to let me live my life like a normal human being.<br><br>I'm sick of everything about her. I'm sick of her obsessive-compulsive behavior. I'm sick of how she attacks me with whatever she can find, be it glass or silverware or whatever. I'm sick of how she thinks she's above the law and can do whatever she wants. I'm sick of how she lies about everything. I'm sick of how she goes out of her way to humiliate me in public. I'm sick of how she doesn't respect my boundaries. I'm sick of how she refuses to work. I'm sick of how she doesn't want intimacy. I'm sick of how she never lets me finish talking. I'm sick of how she thinks she's better than me. I'm sick of how she always wants attention. I'm sick of how she attacks me without warning. I'm sick of how she won't let me have any friends. I'm sick of how she won't let me have any hobbies. I'm sick of how she won't let me have any life outside of her and the house. <br><br>I just can't do this anymore. It all just hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden. It hits me from nowhere, and I just can't do this anymore. I am just finished, and I am not going to be able to do this anymore. I cannot live like this.