I just found I have a trans ex-husband

I’m 25 and I’m taking a weird amount of time to realize this, but going through the mental health stuff from my abusive ex marriage has been really hard and makes me want to make up a lot of excuses for my ex.<br><br>I only realized this weekend that my ex-husband was trans.<br><br>We got married at 19 after being together for 5 years and were together until recently.<br><br>I had no idea. No one did. Everyone went on our whole lives thinking my ex was my gf. I never imagined anything else.<br><br>I’m not a mid-level republican. I’ve been in support of trans people my entire life, and I feel like I need to make that clear. I’m just a bit confused. I feel like I should have put together that my (now) ex-husband was trans. I just didn’t.<br><br>I’ve been training I my previous career for a long time, and my ex helped me get through it all and was great in that. But in return, I ended up whitening up all the abuse they took from their abusive family. I ended up paying for everything. I ended up losing my career due to how stressful and abusive my marriage was.<br><br>For some reason, I still am still holding out hope that my ex-husband will change, or that it was actually my problem. <br><br>I’m scared and I’m still so in love with him/her/they/them. <br><br>I just feel stuck in this endless pit of prevolation and sadness. I can’t seem to move on.