I just shit myself.

Hello. I (26F) just shit myself. I shit myself in front of a man. I shit myself because I wasn't able to get to a bathroom in time. I was begging to go to the restroom and he wasn't taking me. I was crying, I was begging, I was doing everything I could in order to get to go to the bathroom. <br><br>I was so terrified when I felt myself start to panic. I was so terrified I was gonna shit myself in front of someone else. I was so terrified it would happen and I couldn't handle it. I had this feeling in the back of my mind that I was gonna be so embarrassed that I would end up having some kind of psychotic break down. I was not wrong. <br><br>I shit myself and I started to cry. I just cried and I begged to be allowed to go to the bathroom to clean myself. I begged him over and over again to let me clean myself. I had to beg. I had to plead. I had to cry. I had to ask repeatedly to be able to clean myself. They would not let me. They would not let me go to the bathroom to wash up. They would not let me clean up. I honest to God had to ask over and over again. <br><br>I had to sit around for over an hour covered in my own feces. I had to sit around covered in my own waste not being able to clean myself. They made me feel so dirty and gross. I just cried and I cried and I begged to be allowed to clean myself. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. I felt gross. I felt angry. I was so angry I just wanted to fucking scream. <br><br>They refused to let me go to the bathroom. They refused to let me go to the car and get my phone to call for help. They refused to let me go anywhere. They refused everything I asked for. I felt like I had no right to do anything. I felt like I had no right to use the restroom. I felt like I had no right to call for help. I felt like I had no right to do anything. <br><br>I just wanted to clean myself. I had to beg to be allowed to clean myself. I just wanted to be allowed to clean up. I just wanted to stop feeling so ashamed and embarrassed and dirty. They made me sit there covered in my own waste for over an hour. They made me sit there feeling like shit. They made me sit there like I was nothing. <br><br>But I am not nothing. I am a human fucking being. I am a person. I have fucking feelings. I have fucking dignity. I have fucking rights. I am honest to fucking God not nothing. I am not nothing. But they treated me like I was nothing. Like I didn't matter. Like I was just a piece of shit. <br><br>I just shit myself in front of someone else. I just had one of my worst fears come true. I just had to beg to be treated like a human being. I just had to beg to be able to clean myself. I just had to beg for a little bit of fucking dignity. I just had to beg to not feel like a piece of shit. <br><br>I just want to go home and clean myself up. I just want to be allowed to clean myself. I just want to be allowed to go home. I just want to be allowed to go home and get in the shower. I just want to be allowed to get in the bath tub and wash the shame and embarrassment and filth away. I just want to be allowed to clean myself. I just want to be allowed to go home and clean myself. I just want to be allowed to go home.