They're not my kids, and that's okay.

I'm 30 years old, and I have 2 beautiful stepdaughters. They're both teenagers, so they're not little. They don't want to have a relationship with me, that's fine. I get it. I don't push. I treat them the way I would want to be treated. I would never want a romantic partner's family to try to force a relationship on me, I don't try to do that. <br><br>I love them, but I don't have to have a relationship with them if they don't want one. I don't have to make them like me. I also don't have to let them treat me like garbage. I can set boundaries with them without feeling guilty about it.<br><br>I love and appreciate my partner so much. He is an amazing man and good father. He's an amazing partner, as well. We have a healthy relationship. He wants us to all have a relationship, and I appreciate that, but it's not his responsibility to police his daughters. <br><br>My stepdaughters know exactly how to treat people. They're not mean to me just because I'm their stepmom; they treat me the way they treat everyone. They're stand-off-ish. They don't like people. At least they're consistent.<br><br>I don't expect teenagers to be sunny or anything, but they are very nice. They're just not all smiles and giggles. They don't like doing activities. A lot of the time when we try to do family activities, it's a mess. I don't always get to spend quality time with them, because they don't always want to participate. <br><br>I get it, though. I don't have to force a relationship. They don't have to be my "daughters". They have a mother, and that's what matters. I don't have to have a relationship with them. I just won't have a relationship with them. They can live their lives how they want, and I'll live mine how I want. I don't have to be a part of their life. <br><br>I do have a responsibility to them. I live in the same house as them, so I need to take care of them. I will take care of them. A lot of the time when my partner is out of town for work, they want to spend time with their friends. That's fine. I just ask that they communicate with me that they're safe. <br><br>I do a lot for them. I always make sure they have food. I clean up after them. I cook. I go grocery shopping and make sure they have stuff they want and need. I do all of these things because this is my house, and I need to have food. Otherwise, I would starve. Their needs are secondary to mine. I don't have to take care of them. I don't have to make sure they have food. I choose to.<br><br>I've realized that I don't have to force a relationship. I don't have to pretend we're a happy family, when we're not. It's okay that they're not my daughters. It's okay that we don't have a relationship. <br><br>It's okay if my partner marries me, but his daughters aren't "my daughters". It's fine. They don't have to be. I don't have to have a relationship with them, and they don't have to want me to be their mom. They don't have to like me. <br><br>It's okay that I don't have a mother/daughter relationship with them. And that's okay. I don't have to be their mother. They already have a mother. I would never want to be that. I don't want to be their mother. <br><br>I just want to live my life. I want to enjoy my relationship. There's nothing wrong with them not being "my daughters." There's nothing wrong with me not having a relationship with them. There's nothing wrong with having a cordial relationship with them. <br><br>I don't have to want more. I don't have to want a relationship with them. I don't have to want them to be my daughters. I don't have to want that. <br><br>I can live happily without them.