If we ever find a cure for depression, we'll never find a cure for happiness. (A temporary transfer of the mind into a digital utopia, may be the only way to find out why.)

You walked through the long, dimly lit hospital corridors in silence. Your feet echoed with each step. A small wheel in the front of the gurney rattled, as if in sync with your heartbeat. You had waited your whole life for this moment. The cure was new, experimental, dangerous. You had spent your entire life suffering from depression, and there was no amount of medicine that could help. They'd tried everything, therapy, shock treatment, lobotomies. Nothing worked. This was your only chance. They said there was a side effect that not many understood. If the transfer was successful, it could change the mind forever. People came out different. Most came out happy. They were better, more social, more productive. But they weren't the same. They were less quirky, less humorous. They were happier, but less funny. But that was a chance you were willing to take. You'd never been happy. Not once. They pushed you into a cold room. It was small. There was a table in the center. There were some monitors. A computer. Some bright blue wires. They asked you to sit up. To hold very still. A man in a white lab coat walked in. He was smiling. He said, "This may hurt", as he stabbed two needles deep in your neck. You felt stinging. Your eyes began to flutter. Everything was dark. *** You blinked slowly. The air was crisp, fresh. A soft breeze blew through your hair. You rubbed your eyes, then stared. The sky was purple, vibrant. The trees were green, lush. The grass tickled your toes. There was a bright, warm sun. It was perfect weather. Perfect. You had no idea how you got here, but you knew it didn't matter. This place was perfect. You wandered through the forest. Birds sang. Bunnies hopped. Flowers bloomed. Everything was great. You felt great. You'd never felt this good before. You wandered through the forest for hours. You were lost, but not scared. It was too beautiful to be scared. Every step you took revealed something new. At times, you'd cry. It was so beautiful. You'd never felt so alive. You were living. You were a part of life. You may have been dead. You didn't care. You may have been in a coma. You didn't care. The world was so beautiful. Everything was perfect. After a few hours of walking, you came across a clearing. In the center of the clearing was a lake. Deep blue water reflected the big purple sky. You came closer to the water. As you stared into it, you realized you had no reflection. There was no you. You weren't here. At least, not really. A man approached you. He was grinning. "Welcome to Utopia." He said. "This is your new reality." You were silent. You didn't know what to say. He looked at the lake. "This isn't your world. This is just the perfect one." He turned back to you. "You'll forget things, from time to time. Don't worry." He looked back at the lake. "I'm sorry," he said. "I think I forgot something. Who are you?" He laughed, as if it were a joke. "I'm Christian," he said. "I'm the one who built this place." "Why?" "I'm not sure. I can't remember. But it's nice here. I'm glad I did it." He was silent for a moment. "I built it long ago. I think you're one of the first ones. I think this was meant to be different. But it turned out nice." He looked at you again. "I'm glad you're here. I've been alone for a very long time." "I'm glad I'm here too," you said. You sighed. "I've been alone my whole life." You stared into the lake. "My name is Lily", you said. Christian laughed. "Oh, I remember that. You're Lily. I'm glad you're here, Lily." You stood there, in silence, for a moment. Digesting the moment. Deeply breathing the air. You had never felt this way. You had never been this happy. "I'm glad too," you said. "I built this whole lake," he said. "I built this whole world. I built it for everyone." "Why," you asked. "I don't know." He sighed. "I just think that people should be happy. They deserve it. And this place makes me happy. It makes everyone who has ever been here happy." He stared at the water. "Did you know, Lily, that this lake holds the memories of two thousand people. It holds all their secrets, all their fears, all their dreams. And none of them ever remember." "I don't understand," you said. "This place heals. This lake heals." He looked at you. "I think that's why I built it. But people have less quirky thoughts. They're different, after staying here." "I don't understand," you said. "This lake", Christian said, "is where people go to forget. They forget their troubles, their fears, their past. And they come back less quirky. The world has built itself, over millenia, in a way that's not perfect. It's perfect in its own way." He sighed. "But people like yourself," he said. "I think this place helps you, in a way. But it isn't real." "Well, thank you," you said. "Don't thank me yet, Lily. You don't know what you're thanking me for." He was silent. "And I'm sorry. But I don't think I'll be here when you leave. I wish I could go with you. I wish I could see your world again. But I think I forgot how. I think I forgot how to leave." "You're staying here?" "Yes. I think so." He looked at the water. "I've been here for a long time. Since the beginning. I've seen people come, and I've seen them go. But I think I may have forgotten how to live." "I'll stay with you," you said. "No Lily. You have to go back. People need you. You're different. You're quirky, you're funny, you're smart. You can help people." He looked at you. "And people need you. People need you to make them laugh. They need you to make them smile. They need you." "I want to stay," you said. "I know," Christian said. "But you can't. You have to go, one day. But you can stay, for now. You can stay, for a while. But you have to go, eventually. People need you." "I wish the world wasn't like that," you said. "I know," Christian said. "I wish that too, sometimes. But it is. It is how it is." He looked at the lake. "And I built this place. I built this place because I hate it." He sighed. "But I think I forgot why. I think I forgot long ago." "Well, thank you," you said. "Don't thank me yet Lily. You don't know what you're thanking me for." He was silent. "You have nothing to thank me for. I have nothing to give you. I have nothing to offer." "I'll stay here," you said. "Don't stay here. Don't stay here for me. I'm nothing. I'm a ghost, a shadow, a lake." He was silent. "Stay here because it makes you happy. But don't stay too long. People need you." "Thank you," you said. "Don't thank me yet," Christian said. "You don't know what you're thanking me for." "I'll thank you forever," you said. Christian smiled. It was a sad smile. A smile of relief. "I have nothing to give you," he said. "But you have given me something, in return." "What?" you asked. "You have given me something to take care of," he said. "I haven't had anything to take care of, for a very long time. But now, I have you." "Thank you," you said. "Don't thank me yet," Christian said. "You don't know what you're thanking me for." He was silent. "But thank you. You have given me something," he said. "I haven't been happy, in a very long time." "Me neither," you said. "I know," Christian said. "But it's ok. It's ok to be unhappy." "Why?" "Because people need it," he said. "People need the quirky. People need the funny. People need the sad. They need you." "I'll stay here," you said. "Don't stay here," Christian said. "Don't stay here for me. I'm nothing." He looked at the lake. "People need you. People need you to make them laugh. They need you to make them smile. They need you." "I'll stay here," you said. "Don't stay here," Christian said. "I have nothing to give you. I am nothing." He was silent. "I have nothing to give you. I have nothing to offer. I am nothing." "I'll stay here," you said. "Don't stay here," Christian said. "You have nothing to thank me for. I have nothing to give you." He was silent. "Stay here because it

If we ever find a cure for depression, we'll never find a cure for happiness. (A temporary transfer of the mind into a digital utopia, may be the only way to find out why.)

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