I've only had one pill of MDMA... But I never want to consume drugs again. Here's why...

First off, I'm a 19 year old male. I don't have any actual diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I have a bad case of GAD (Anxiety Disorder). It is very hard for me to live with and I've been supplying myself with Adderall (Prescription) but I never actually use it anymore. I went to school club one day and had an opportunity to buy a pill of mdma. I bought it and took it. I've had it for few weeks and never actually took it. Yesterday I decided to take it. <br><br>I took it... It was fun at first. I was talking, laughing, and having fun. Then I realized that I was being extremely hyper and a little bit too friendly. I got extremely paranoid and just started burping... A lot. For no reason. Burp, burp, burp. I didn't knew what to do. I got extremely anxious and I just wanted to get in my bed and pass out. I felt really drunk and just wanted to go to sleep. Then I started feeling bad. I didn't know what was happening and I thought that I was going to pass out. I didn't. I became really cold and kept having goosebumps all over my body. I had very bad heart palpitations and I could hear my own heartbeat. I just wanted to pass out or cry. I started sweating really bad and just sat in my chair and stared at the wall. I thought about all the negative thoughts I've been having. I thought about... I don't even want to write about it. I just wanted to cry. I fell asleep and I wasn't able to wake up at 8am today for school. I set my alarm at 8 but I woke up at 1:30pm... Already missing half of my day. <br><br>I feel like shit. I want to die. I'm chocolate boy who is extremely smart and funny. I'm a great guy and awesome to hang out with. But this pill took a toll on me. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not funny and I'm not happy. I feel like shit. I'm extremely anxious and just want to go back to sleep. I'm driving my car to the mall and just sitting in the parking lot. I'm lost. I don't have a job. I'm not doing good in school. I'm just a piece of trash. I just dont want to live anymore. I'm feeling extremely depressed and just want to hurt myself. I don't want to live anymore. I just want to disappear from the earth and nobody notice. I don't care about my friends, my family or my family. I don't even care about myself. I'm extremely paranoid and just want to be alone. I'm only 19 and I've already had enough. I'm thinking about supplying myself with melatonin and just going to sleep for 5 days. I don't want to leave my bed and see anyone ever again. I'm not chocolate boy. I'm a depressed... I don't even know what I am. All I know is that I just want to cry. <br><br>I'm just a school boy... But I'm extremely depressed and just want to die. I don't want to live anymore and I just want to go to sleep. I'm extremely anxious, paranoid and depressed. I burp, burp, burp. I just feel like shit and want to cry.