My (30F) husband (28M) wants to be a single father to our children.

Throwaway, as I don’t want my family and friends to see this on my main. My apologies if this is too long.<br><br>I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and married for 5, we have two children, 6 and 3. This year has been the hardest year of my life. I was fired from my job due to finances, we had to move out of our home, and on top of everything I gained a lot of weight. My husband and I have been fighting nonstop. I know I’ve let myself go and I didn’t take the best care of myself, but I also had a baby 3 years ago and with having two kids and working full time, I didn’t really have time for much. <br><br>I offered to leave, and he said that he didn’t want that, he said he wanted to be a single father to our children. I asked him what did he mean by that, and he said he wanted a single father home with no mother figure. I was really confused on how that would work. He said he just wanted the kids to have a father and no mother figure, he said he was willing to work to provide for us, but he didn’t want another woman figure in the house. I feel like this is not fair to me at all, but he said that he wasn’t asking me, that it was what he wanted and if I had a problem with it I could leave. <br><br>I love my children so much, and I just want them to have a happy life, but I’m not sure this is the right decision. I’m torn on what decision to make here. I want to leave and find a way to make a better life for me and my kids, but I don’t know if that’s being selfish. I also feel like I failed as a mother and a wife, and I don’t know how to turn it around. My husband does not want couple counseling, and refuses to go. Any advice would help, I don’t even know where to begin at this point. <br><br><br>EDIT: I am sorry everyone, I didn’t expect this to get so many responses, and I am trying to go through them all. I am also in the process of getting a lawyer, and I am slowly working on getting everything put together. <br><br>For those of you saying he’s being abusive, I can see how it came off that way but he’s not, he is just very stubborn and if he gets an idea in his head, he will push it until he gets it. We have been having problems, mainly me gaining weight. I have tried a few diets, and none have really worked. He has made a few comments in the past about me gaining weight, but I try to ignore them because it doesn’t help anything. <br><br>For those asking why I didn’t get a job right away, I did start applying again, it just took me a few months to get a new job. I was also in a minor car accident, which caused me to have some medical bills and I also had to pay to get my car repaired. Both of these things put a dent in our savings, and caused us to have to move to a cheaper place to live. <br><br>Most of the comments I’m seeing is that he’s using this as an excuse to get rid of me, and that he’s lying about not wanting another woman in the house. I agree with you all, and I think that most likely he wants to see if I will put up with this or if I will leave. I am leaning towards leaving, I think it would be best for me and the kids in the long run.