I [25F] told my fiancé [26M] I was going to break up with him if he didn’t get his shit together, now he thinks I want to break up with him

I’m at a loss as to what to do. On Saturday, my fiancé and I got into a fight with his family. I can’t get into too many details, but it starts with his mom. His mom doesn’t like me (I don’t like her either). She never has, and my fiancé is pretty much done with her. She makes snide comments, pulled my hair when I was 19, etc. She also doesn’t like that my son (from another relationship) is mixed race. Well, the fight got so bad that his mom said “maybe we just won’t come to Virginia anymore, maybe that’s best!” We take that as her saying she won’t come to our wedding, and my future in-laws know exactly what they’re doing saying shit like that. <br><br>It was so disgusting and gross, I started crying. So my fiancé, my son and I left. I told him that he needs to get better at standing up to his mom, or we’re not going to be able to get married. By this I mean, he refuses to set boundaries with his parents, and I’ve asked him to set boundaries with them before. When he did, things got better! <br><br>Well, he thinks I said I won’t marry him unless *I* get my shit together. I don’t think this, I’m actually doing well in school, I’m trying to get a job, I function as an adult, I have no drama, and I take care of my child. <br><br>I tried to clear it up with him, and explained that that’s not what I said, I said I won’t marry him unless *he* gets his shit together. Then I listed all the ways he can improve. I also tried to hug him and kiss him, but he’s acting cold. He’s also refused to go to therapy (and I went alone), and he said “to get over myself”. <br><br>I don’t know what to do. I love this man so much, but he also is becoming someone I don’t recognize at all. Help!<br><br>Edit: thank you for all the help, I’ll make sure to update once I do something!