Creepy homeless guy who wanted to show me around town.

It was one of those days where the weather went from sunny to rainy in five seconds flat. I had just gotten out of a meeting with a potential client and was looking for a place to duck in and out of until the storm passed. There was a coffee shop at the other end of the block, and the rain wasn’t bad yet, so I thought I’d just walk over. I was close enough to the building that if the sky decided to open up on me, I would’ve made it to the front doors without getting soaked. As I approached the coffee shop, a homeless guy walked past me and shook the water out of his coat. I watched as he walked into the building, and then I followed him in. The guy was shaking the water out of his coat so vigorously that I was pretty sure he was going to dump water all over the place. The patrons near the door were kind of bracing themselves for impact, and one lady was even positioning herself to grab her purse as the guy got closer. As soon as he realized everyone was staring at him, he smiled and said, “It’s cold and rainy out. You don’t want my water.” The people around the door breathed a collective sigh of relief and went back to their phones. I, on the other hand, made my way over to the counter and waited for the coffee shop employees to finish serving the wetcoat wearer. He stepped forward, stuck his hand out, and said, “I’m Doug. What’s your name?” The cash register girl looked like she was about to have a heart attack. I could see the mental countdown starting. Three…Two…One… She jumped behind the safety of the counter as Doug continued to block her path. I stepped forward, not wanting Doug to accidentally block me as well. I wasn’t trying to hide or anything, but I also wasn’t going to let the guy get sandwiched between himself and me. It was clear he had no ill intentions, but if he had, the situation would’ve played out a hell of a lot easier if he was between me and the only barrier between us and him was the counter. “Hey, Doug. It’s nice to meet you,” I said, trying to break the tension. “I’m [my name].” Doug didn’t take a step back or remove his hand from the counter. He just smiled and said, “It’s great to meet you,” as if we were at a wedding and this was the first chance we’d had to officially meet. It was obvious from his tone and body language that he wasn’t trying to scare anyone. He was just a guy who was cold and wanted to make friends. He looked around at the people in the coffee shop, some of whom were now on their phones or pretending to read a book with an intensity that would make Tolstoy proud. “Do you need an tour of the town, lady?” he asked the woman who was bracing herself for impact. “No,” she answered. “You want a tour of the town?” he asked me. “Sure,” I said. “Oh,” he said, “I don’t really do tours. I don’t know much about the town.” “That’s okay,” I said, smiling. “I don’t care if you know anything. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me while you show me around?” Doug grinned. “I’d like that,” he said. “Doug?” said the register girl. “Yeah?” “You’re not going to… You know… Right?” “Right?” he asked. “Rapists,” she answered. “You’re not going to, like, force yourself on this lady and—” “I’m not a rapist,” Doug said. “Thank you,” she answered. I laughed. “I’m not going to rape you,” Doug said. “I know,” I said. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Doug got in line and chatted everyone up along the way, asking them if they wanted to join us. The lady who was bracing herself for water told him she was too busy and had a headache, but Doug was undeterred. When we got our coffee, he suggested we talk for a bit. Doug sat down next to me, and then when an old lady came in, he said, “Ma’am, you look like you could use a cup of coffee.” He got up, walked over to her, and got her a cup. The register girl, who was still a little high-strung, rolled her eyes at Doug’s actions. He went over to a couple who looked like they were on a first date and asked if they wanted to join him and me for a bit. They looked embarrassed, and the guy said, “No, sorry. We’re kinda in the middle of something.” Doug nodded, smiled at them, and sat back down next to me. The register girl finally relaxed a little, and I struck up a conversation with her. Turns out she was an exchange student from Finland. She was studying business in the US and worked part-time at the coffee shop to pay her bills. I asked her what her favorite thing about America was, and she said, “Coffee shops,” which I thought was hilarious considering the situation. I asked Doug if he wanted to hear about my favorite thing about America, and he said, “Yeah.” “I like that, on the opposite coast, you can’t see the opposite happenings,” I said. “I don’t know what you mean,” Doug said. “The sun doesn’t rise in the east,” I answered. “It rises in the east, yeah, but you can’t see it happen from where I live because the Earth is round.” Doug stared at me. “I forgot my phone in my car,” he said. “Mine too,” I answered. “So we can’t take a picture.” “Yeah,” I said. “Come on,” he said. “Okay.” We ran outside and took pictures of each other with the rainy sky behind us. “You’re very pretty,” Doug said. “You’re not so bad yourself.” “Do you wanna walk around town with me?” “I’d love to,” I answered. The register girl poked her head out the door when I said that, and I could tell she was worried Doug was going to abduct me or something, but I waved at her, and she waved back. Doug and I walked outside again to show her, and she smiled. “You’re okay,” she said. “Thanks,” Doug answered. We talked for a bit outside. Doug pointed out where he could see the sunset in the fall, where the best place was to watch the Fourth of July, and where the best place was to people watch. He pointed out a park across the street where we could go and watch the rain. “Do you wanna go see the rain?” he asked. “I don’t know,” I said. “Come on.” I crossed the street with Doug, and we sat down in the park. The benches were empty, but a man was sitting on the grass and playing a guitar. It was raining hard enough that the droplets created a misty veil that blocked me from seeing the guy’s face. I could only see his back and the outline of his guitar. Doug sat down next to me, and the guy playing the guitar stopped mid-song when Doug sat down. “You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked. “I don’t know your face.” “I’m from around here,” Doug answered. “You don’t know my face.” The guy chuckled, and I could see the outline of his smile turn upwards. “No,” he answered, “I mean the lady.” “Oh,” Doug said. “She’s not from around here.” I smiled. The guy started playing again. I liked his songs, but I couldn’t focus on them. Every time I looked over at Doug, he smiled back at me. After a while, Doug said, “I should get going.” “Okay.” We walked back across the street, and Doug walked me back to the coffee shop. When we got inside, the register girl smiled and waved, but the other patrons looked at me like I had just announced I was going to juggle chainsaws during my next meeting. Doug smiled at me and said, “It was great meeting you.” “Likewise,” I answered. We hugged, and I said, “Thanks for the tour.” “You’re welcome.” Doug turned and walked out into the rain. I got back in line, and the register girl rolled her eyes at me as I approached the counter. “Hey,” I said. “Can you make me a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and extra chocolate chips? And can you make it in a big mug?” She nodded, and I paid while she made my drink. I took my hot chocolate and cup of coffee and found an empty table. The patrons who had glared at me when I came in were still staring at me like I was the crazy one. I smiled at them. One lady looked like she was about to pass out. When I started drinking my hot chocolate and coffee, they finally started to lose interest and went back to their phones. The lady who was ready to pass out actually smiled at me. After a while, the storm passed, so I finished my drinks and headed out into the clear sky. I walked outside feeling happy and a little sad at the same time. I was glad that the storm had passed, but I missed Doug. I looked back at the coffee shop, and Doug was sitting on the bench outside. He was watching me. I smiled and waved, and he smiled and waved back. Let’s not meet again soon, Doug. You already showed me around once.

Creepy homeless guy who wanted to show me around town.

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