I would never let anyone bully my family to death. If you can’t take up for yourself, I absolutely won’t either.

I’ve been called ‘mean’ and all kinds of names from different people, and I’m not sorry. <br><br>I have been a target for bullying my whole life, and I am married to someone who has been a target for bullying their whole life. <br><br>Both of us were raised in homes with fathers who never stood up for their wives or their sons. <br><br>My husband grew up in a home with a very abusive mother (emotionally, physically, financially), and an enabling father who witnessed it all but did nothing. My husband was left to defend and take up for himself, and it was a terribly lonely road. I can’t imagine being a child, having no one to protect me and stand up for me and having to stand up for myself. My husband is so strong, and I’m so proud of him. However, he did not learn to take up for anyone, even his own family. Therefore he thinks it’s not his job, and it never will be. <br><br>I was a middle child and the only girl, surrounded by brothers. I was super sensitive and nervous, and my parents took advantage of that ‘sensitivity’ and used it to abuse me. They blamed me, and I was their scapegoat. <br><br>I grew up thinking I was worthless and that I couldn’t trust anyone. I didn’t know what ‘real love’ was, or how it felt to grow up in a home with loving parents. <br><br>But as I got older, I started to see how I was being treated and the names I was being called weren’t okay. My parents were wrong and they were being mean, ‘cruel’, and abusive. <br><br>I started to take up for myself. I started to learn that I was good, and I mattered and I was valuable. I learned that I did not deserve to be talked to or treated the way I was. <br><br>Fast forward to now. I have been married for 11 years, and have a 10 year old son. I take up for my husband and myself and our son. I have confronted parents who were slandering our name, boyfriends of my friends who were saying mean things about me, people on social media and in real life who were being abusive to either me, my husband or my son. I didn’t care who it was or how long we’d known them. I took up for my family and myself, and I still do. <br><br>I have been called mean, rude, even ‘crazy’ by people. But my husband and son know how loved and protected they are, and that’s all that matters. <br><br>You can call someone who takes up for their family ‘mean’ all you want, but being mean to bullies doesn’t even compare to the damage of being a complete failure as a parent or spouse and leaving them completely undefended and vulnerable. <br><br>I would be completely ‘mean’ to anyone, even ‘seem crazy’ if that’s what it took to protect myself and the people I loved the most in this world. <br><br>A few examples of me taking up for us has been:<br><br>Once when my son was 6, we were at a movie theater. Some teenage boys were throwing popcorn at us and laughing. I got up, and went to the manager. No one did anything. So I went to the boys who were throwing the popcorn, and I asked them why they were being mean to us and threw the popcorn back at them. They were shocked but they stopped. <br><br>When I was 21, my niece had a boy over and he was being very inappropriate with me. He kept touching me, getting too close, and making sexual comments. My brother was part of the crowd ‘who doesn’t want drama’ so he did nothing. I finally had enough, and I took matters into my own hands, put my hand on the boy’s face and told him to stop. He was shocked, but he got up and left and never came back. <br><br>I don’t care if you call me mean, rude, or crazy. <br><br>If someone is being abusive to me or the people I love, I will take up for myself and them, every time.