So, you just beat your mother and took her car keys? (How to survive with the patriarchy right now)

I’ve been in a deep sadness the past few months. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and can’t catch my breath. But, I’m trying to pull myself together and think about how to change this and do my best to fight back. I thought I’d share whatever insights I had that might be helpful, and I’d love to hear what you are thinking too. <br><br>First of all…<br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• If you are feeling, sad, angry, scared, disappointed, etc. Feel those feelings right now and grieve the loss. What was taken from us can’t ever be restored. It’s not just the loss of a man and his allies as leaders that is causing this hurt—it is the fact that half of our people, including many who are vulnerable and subject to abuse, are supporting what just happened. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Educate yourself. If you are feeling shocked and confused, it’s likely you haven’t been paying attention. Read and learn and read some more. If you know people who voted for Trump, listen to them. Hear their stories, their fears, their hopes. But, you are not responsible to change others. It is not up to you to make people who disagree with you change their minds. Just listen. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Protest. March. Execute your right to free speech. Rally and organize. But, know that this only goes so far. Your protests will not change Trump supporters, and they are not meant to. The protest is meant to show that we will not be silenced. But, if you are thinking that this will change the course of events, you are sadly mistaken. The protests won’t do anything to stop this patriarchy. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Turn off the news! Or at least put it on pause for a while. Watching the news stirs up negativity and if you are already feeling hopeless, do something else for a while. Replace the news with action. Stop reading the headlines. Do something. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• So, what are we going to do? <br><br>First and foremost, we support those who are going to be most negatively affected by this change. <br><br>If you work with people who are marginalized, reach out and let them know you are there to support them. <br><br>I think the best way to support these people is to listen to them. What do they need? What can you do to help? <br><br>Join a group that supports the people who will be most negatively affected. Donate to causes. Volunteer your time. Focus your time and energy on helping people right now. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Plan for the future. Educate yourself on feminism. Read about patriarchy. Learn how to be an ally and work with people of color, LGBTQ+, disabled people, etc. Learn how to be an intersectional feminist. I don’t think we can wait another 4 years to take action. We need to start working now to flip Congress in two years. We need to work to flip the Senate and House in two years. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Practice self-care. Do things that lift you up and make you feel good. Watch a funny movie. Take a walk. Listen to music that lifts your spirit. Fight against the fear and anxiety. Do things that lift you up and are good for your health. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Try to stay away from negativity and drama on social media. People are sharing their most negative thoughts. I read something earlier that said “It’s the end of the world as you know it” and sure, it feels that way. But, it’s not the end of the world—I can promise you that. Things will get better, and it’s up to us to make it happen. So, when you see people sharing their negative thoughts, ignore them. Stop focusing on all we’ve lost and start focusing on what we have. Think about all the good things in the world. Think about the fact that WE are here. We are here, right now, to make a difference. And, that could be a great thing. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Think about your own internalized patriarchy and how it shows up in your life. I think about all the times in my life how I’ve acted like a man, taken charge, overpowered others, tried to prove myself, etc. How can you show up as a more feminine person moving forward? What does this look like? Where have you been blocked? How can you support yourself to find your true power? <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Do your shadow work. Because it is up to us to change. If you are feeling hateful and angry and bitter toward all the men and Trump supporters, it’s time to do your shadow work. Get to work on yourself. Get to work on yourself, focusing on your own personal growth, and stop trying to change other people. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Learn to be resilient. This too shall pass. It’s time to put on your big girl boots and get to work. If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Connect with nature. Nature shows us the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. Nature shows us the interconnectedness of all life. Nature is where The Divine resides. Nature is healing. Take time each day to connect with the natural world. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Stop resisting. Accept what is. Don’t try to make Trump illegitimate. Don’t try to make people who are happy unhappy. Focus your energy on what you can control. Focus on working inside yourself. Focus on being a support to those who need it. Focus on taking action to make a difference. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• The answer is The Divine Feminine. If you are feeling hopeless, remember that The Divine Feminine is inside of you. She is the source of all life. Within her, all things are possible. We need to stop trying to fight the patriarchy and instead find the divine feminine in every person. We need to stop fighting with others and instead find the divine in all people, regardless of their gender or political beliefs. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Stop resisting the patriarchy. The patriarchy is inside of us. It’s time to focus on ourselves. Stop trying to change others. Focus on your own shadow, your own wounds. Stop trying to make the patriarchy bad or wrong and instead see that it is a part of all of us. See the patriarchy inside yourself and work to heal yourself. It is up to us to change. It is not up to others to change. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_<br><br>• Focus on our own development and growth. It is up to us to change. It is not up to the men or Trump supporters to change. We need to focus on our own growth and development. We need to focus on our own fears, worries, hopes, and dreams. We need to focus on healing ourselves. <br><br>\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\