AITA for saying my BIL can either go out and get a job or be homeless.

So my wife "Kim" (28f) has a decent sized extended family. She's one of 5. Oldest sibling, then 4 more including her down to 7 years old. She's from a "traditional" type of home. My BIL "Bruce" (33m) [Oldest] is a cook. MLB (middlest) is an engineer. We met my wife just before she finished U, moved out and started her career. MBL and YLB are the only 2 to go to college. YLB is in U.<br><br>Anyway, my wife is the only one to move out of her folk's house. The other 4 stayed there their entire lives. I don't know if anyone else has met a person who stays at home until they're 30+. Every one of my wife's siblings has a job but they're all weird. It's not like they can't function outside of their parent's house, they just don't want to. They're all very picky people and they need everything their way and to function a certain way. Unless you cater to their needs, they don't want to do things. They're not socially awkward or anything like that, just very, very picky. So none of them date and they spend most of their time in their bedroom or helping their parents around the house. My MIL and FIL are very sweet people and they're used to their kids being like this. They can't change them and they're adults. MBL is the least picky and he has full time job as a structural engineer. By picky I just mean he likes his routine and likes things a certain way. He had a girlfriend for a year until she moved and she seemed nice.<br><br>So anyway, Kim and I [26m] met just before she finished college. She lived in a dorm and then an apartment on campus. We moved in together once we were serious enough to live together. We're married now [we've been married for a year now]. She visits her parents often and helps them out when she can. We live about 30 minutes away so it's not too far. Her parents are upset that she moved out. After she moved out and started her career, they were kind of shocked. They were like "wow, we really failed as parents, how did she turn out so well?" They didn't "fail" I guess, she's just more outgoing and adventurous. She said it was hard to move out and start doing her own stuff because they don't know how to do anything on their own. They're not stupid, just set in their ways. They'll go out to eat and they'll always go to the same place or they'll always sit at the same table or they'll always go there at the same time. They're not weird or awkward just picky. So once she moved out, they were annoyed but they started seeing her a couple times a week and they feel [I think] like she's still their little girl. I met them shortly after we started dating and we've never really had a problem.<br><br>So then the holidays came around. She told me she wanted to spend Christmas with her parents because they always spend Christmas together. I told her that was fine and we did that. So then we get to her folk's house and they're all there and they're all very uncomfortable that I'm there. They're normally very nice to me but they were all very nice to me except for my BIL and FIL. They were very standoff-ish and quiet. FIL said something like "So, you're taking our daughter away from us? Just wanted to see how it feels?" And I was like "No? I had nothing to do with her moving out, that was her decision." And FIL said "Well, she never would have moved out if not for you." And I said "No one was forcing her to stay there. She's an adult, she can do what she wants." He just kind of scoffed.<br><br>So we sat down to eat and normally we sit at the island in the kitchen and eat. But today we ate in the dining room. FIL and MIL sat on one side, BIL sat at the head of the table, I sat on the other side and Kim sat next to me with the other 3 kids on the same side. FIL and MIL were both making jokes the whole time about how Kim used to help clean up around the house and help her mom with things and how we don't need to do that anymore. Then they were talking about how they always had "family game night" and now that's not a thing anymore. Then they started talking about how I've ruined their family dynamic and I just snapped and said "I'm sorry about that, I didn't realize I had so much control over your family." I said "Listen, your daughter is an adult. She can make her own decisions. She doesn't have to live with us. She can spend Christmas with us if you want and she can still live with us." BIL said "Yeah, why don't you do that?" And then he said "You know, we were all better off without you and I wish you would have never met our daughter and never come into our lives." I said "So your daughter is better off cleaning up after 5 adults who can't function on their own? Your daughter is better off being your housemaid and personal assistant when she's an adult?" FIL said "So our daughter is too good to be a housemaid?" I said "No, but she's too good to be a housemaid for 5 adults who can't function without having everything done for them." MIL started crying and saying "This is all your fault, you just can't help yourself can you?" I said "No, I can't help myself. This is the reason your daughter moved out. Your whole house full of grown adults can't function for a day without her?" They all started yelling at me and I got up and left.<br><br>I haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. Kim came home from work and I told her what happened. She was angry and upset and she said she'd talk to them. Then a couple of days later my wife got a call from her sister. "Jen" [28f] My BIL pulled an all-nighter at work and had to leave early the next morning. FIL and MIL were normally supposed to come into his restaurant and he was supposed to give them free food for helping him out. Instead, he asked his sister to do it and she said no. He called my wife and she said she was busy and couldn't. She recommended that he find another restaurant or ask someone else [presumably me] to drive their parents around. He said "no, I'm sick of being fucked over by you and your husband, can you just do this one thing? [I don't know the plan] I won't tell mom and dad where you really are and I'll give you a shift during the week if you do this" So my wife agreed. She said "so, your brother was supposed to pick up your parents and take them to this restaurant, then I was supposed to pick them up and drive them around until he could pick them up again?" He said "yeah, and I'll give you a shift on Friday if you do it" She said "I'm not doing that. So you can't function with your parents not being able to [I don't know what plan] for a day and you can't even come up with a good plan?" BIL was angry and he said "So you think you're better than me now? Our parents just lost the only child they had left. Now you're too good to help me out? You're too good to help our parents out?" Kim said "Yeah, I'm too good to do that. I'm not going to waste an entire day driving your parents around. If they wanted to be able to do things on their own, they should have taught their children better." He said "So you're not going to do it?" She said "No" and he said "Fine, don't come to our house anymore. We don't want you there anyway. I never wanted you to marry that guy and now we know why." She said "What did he ever do to you?" He said "He never brought my sister out. He kept her from us. He took her away. You used to always come over and help mom and dad out. Now you just come over when you want to and you go home when you want to. We never see you anymore. I don't want you coming over to our house with him anymore." Then he hung up.<br><br>I saw her crying and I asked her what happened. She told me and I said "I'm glad you said no. I hope your brother gets his shit together." Kim said "I hate my brother. He's the reason I left." I said "What did he do?" Kim said "Yeah, he's a piece of shit. He's always been a piece of shit. He's had a couple of girlfriends and he cheated on them all and he got one of them pregnant. He's not a good person. I don't know why my parents like him so much." I said "So why does he get to decide if you can come to your parent's house?" Kim said "Yeah, I'm an adult. I can go wherever I want and if they don't want me there then that's fine. fuck them."<br><br>So we haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. Then out of nowhere, my wife gets a call from "Liz" [25f] YLB. She says "This is your sister. So normally I see your car driving down the street around 11am but I haven't seen you