Am I failing?

I said it at the top of my voice to my now ex girlfriend. “PUT THAT FUCKING PHONE DOWN FOR ONE SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME”. That was it. It was over. She told me she’s not in love with me and wanted to go home, I said “and leave me alone? We’ll do that”. Those words confused her when the title of my post should be her title. “Am I failing?”. She just doesn’t get it. She just had the most boring face you’ve ever seen. Am I failing? I’ve cried. I’ve been upset. I will miss her. My world is upside down. The pain is there. But what upsets me is that I’m so mad I haven’t yelled or screamed. I’ve said things I’ve never said to anyone. In front of people I’ve never said those words too. I’m an asshole. There’s yelling and there is yelling. I’m not that guy. I’m not the guy who yells. I try at most times to be calm and not blow things out of proportion. But this time I yelled. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve failed. I’m not built for this. I’m not built for relationships. I feel like I’ve failed.