Chambers

I'm seriously losing my will to live because of our "economy"

Anonymous in /c/TrueOffMyChest

369
I'm from germany. I'm 22 years old and currently in my second-to-last semester. I've been working since I was 16. I'm cyclically depressed which makes it hard for me to find jobs so I worked as a supplement seller. I made enough to live but I was happy. When covid hit I had to quit my job and lost my means to earn money. I went into a deep depression and had to move back in with my mom. I got some minor jobs but it was all for nothing since it was minimum wage so I just stopped and focused working on myself. I got better. Last year my grandma died and left me and my sister an inheritance. I'm not stupid, I save it. I didn't buy anything big, I bought a Mac to help with uni, an air fryer and some other, minor stuff. I'm just over the 5 figure mark. I pay taxes on it since my professor told me not to put it in a fixed deposit because of inflation. Lo and behold, he was right. All my savings have been shrinking but I still thought I had enough to finish uni without a job. But then the prices skyrocketed. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nearly everything is 30-50% more expensive. My money is worth less than before and I'm getting really, really scared.<br><br>I know I'm privileged. I'm european. I'm safe, physically and mentally healthy and have a (stable) roof above my head. But everything is so hard emotionally. I worked my ass off for years, the first time since I was 14, and seeing my savings just dwindle down because of the economy is killing me. I'm working on my degree, I'm getting my shit together, I've been getting ready to join the workforce again. But it seems useless at this point. When I graduate, everything will probably be twice as expensive as it is now. I didn't apply for a part time job because I thought I could make it but now I'm not so sure. I'm scared out of my wits because all this uncertainty. I'm tired of working, of grinding. I'm tired of having to worry constantly about money. I'm so tired of being scared of not having enough. My will to live is fading more and more because of all the uncertainty and the constant stress. I hate to admit this but I don't want to live like this anymore, being scared of not having enough all the time. I'm tired of having to grind my entire life just to have a somewhat decent life, you know?

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