I've been married for 20 years. I still have no idea what my wife actually looks like.

I still remember our first date. It was a double date, back in 2002. I was invited out with my friend "Dan" and his new girlfriend "Jen." She had a friend, "Liz" and when Dan told me about her, he said "You'll really like her." There was just *something* in his tone that suggested he was hiding something.<br><br>Jen and Dan showed up at my door at 7PM on the dot, as scheduled. We chatted in the living room for a few minutes. Dan and I both noticed that Jen looked nothing like her pictures. But far, far worse for me was that Liz hadn't shown up. I really don't like blind dates, and the last thing I wanted was be stuck out with three people who already knew each other when I was the only one who didn't know anyone else.<br><br>I was preparing my excuse to call the evening off and go home and play video games when the doorbell rang. It was a few minutes after 7, and I figured this was a bad omen. When I opened the door, the first thing I noticed was that the porch light reflected off of shiny plastic. My friend had brought a blind date for me, and she was actually *blinded.*<br><br>Elizabeth Oberdorf was born with cataracts. She was mostly blind her entire life, and had only a few operations that restored a modicum of vision to her. She had very, very thick glasses and a white cane when we met. Dan explained that she was touchy about her disability, so it would be best if I didn't bring it up unless she did first.<br><br>I'm not going to lie, it was awkward as hell. I'd never met a blind person before. I had no idea how blind people did... anything. For example, it wasn't until our second date that I learned the real reason that Liz wore perfume: When you can't see somebody, you can't read their body language. You can't see if someone is frowning or crossing their arms or standing with their weight away from you.<br><br>That's why blind people smell so good: They want you to be happy when you *smell* them.<br><br>On our first date, I couldn't figure out why she was smiling at me. It was like she was *smiling at me,* and not at the rest of the group. But she couldn't know that, because... well, you know. Maybe she just liked to smile? It was really catching, I have to admit, and even though the date was strange, I still had a good time. After they dropped me off and I was alone with my thoughts, I realized that I would definitely want to go out again with this very kind and very lovely woman.<br><br>Over the next few weeks, we went out several more times. I learned that blind people wear buttons that-beep when they're pressed by their cane so that they don't run into things. I learned that you shouldn't move the furniture without telling a blind person, or they might think that your house has been burglarized. I learned that blind people don't like to be touched when they walk, but they do like to be offered their arm. I learned that blind people can be very touchy about their blindness, so you have to be careful not to say anything that they might take as insulting.<br><br>It took months for me to learn all this. It took months for her to open up to me about her disability. But eventually, she did let me in. And when she did, I realized that there was a lot more to her than I had ever imagined.<br><br>The first time that we made love, she wanted me to wear a blindfold so that she knew what I was doing. She guided me around the room, telling me where everything was. It was actually kind of fun, even if she was laughing at me when I tried to find the bed.<br><br>Afterwards, when we were holding each other, she said "I really like you. I know this is going to sound strange, but I feel like I know you better than any man I've ever met." I asked her how that could be possible, considering that she couldn't see any of them. She just shrugged and said "You have to trust me on this."<br><br>That was almost 18 years ago. And in all that time, I've never seen her. I once asked her what she looked like, and she told me not to worry about it. She said "Your eyes are blind. But your heart can see. And it knows what I look like, even if you don't."<br><br>I know that sounds silly. It's something that a person in a bad Disney movie would say, right? But she was right. I don't care what she looks like, physically. She's the kindest, most gentle, most honest and open woman I've ever met. And she's still as beautiful to me as she was the first time that we met.<br><br>We got married two years after our first date, and we're still married. We have two beautiful daughters who inherited their mother's tendency towards "vanilla" ice cream. We've traveled all around the world, always with Liz on my arm as I guide her through the places that she can't see but I can't imagine living without.<br><br>We had our 20th wedding anniversary last week. We went out to a nice restaurant, and then got a hotel room in the city. When we were preparing for bed, I remembered the first time that we had made love, all those years ago. I still remembered the feel of the blindfold on my eyes, and how strange it was to navigate by touch. Without even thinking about it, I reached over and put my hand over her eyes.<br><br>She didn't struggle. She just smiled and said "I know who you are."