I cheated on my girlfriend and it felt amazing.

I (M38) cheated on my girlfriend(GF41) a little over a month ago and am seriously reconsidering our relationship now due to the immense pleasure I felt after having sex with someone else.<br><br>My GF and I have been together for 7 years and are engaged. We've been on and off for most of that time, due to my depression and anger issues, which I've been seeking help for. She's been very patient and supportive of my recovery.<br><br>However, I recently had a one-night stand with a woman(CW32) I met at a bar. It was incredible. I felt a rush of excitement and pleasure that I'd never experienced with my GF. The sex was more passionate, intense, and satisfying than anything I'd had with my GF in years.<br><br>I know it was wrong to cheat, and I plan on telling my GF eventually. But for now, I want to understand why this experience was so different from what I have with my GF. I worry that our relationship might not be as fulfilling as I thought, and that this encounter has opened my eyes to what I've been missing.<br><br>I'm not looking to blameshift or justify my infidelity. I take full responsibility for my actions and acknowledge the hurt I may cause my GF. Nevertheless, I want to explore why this experience was so significant and what it might mean for our relationship going forward.<br><br>UPDATE:<br>Wow! First, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read and comment on my post. I didn't expect such an overwhelming response, and I appreciate the diverse perspectives you shared, even those that were hard to hear.<br><br>I can see that some of you sensed there was something I wasn't revealing, and you were right. I wasn't entirely truthful about my situation in my initial post.<br><br>There's a lot more to the story, and I'd be happy to share more, but I think it's time for me to take a step back, reflect on my own behavior, and seek professional help.<br><br>I understand that I hurt a lot of people, including my fiancée and her family, who I truly care for, as well as the woman I had the affair with. I didn't handle the situation properly and now everyone involved is in immense pain.<br><br>What I want to stress, however, is that no one should ever blame the person someone cheats on them for. My fiancée doesn't deserve the hurtful comments I've read, with some even wishing death upon her. Please don't make assumptions without knowing the full context of the situation.<br><br>Regarding the other woman, CW, she is someone I have known for quite some time. I should not have pursued her, given my engagement. I realize now that it was completely wrong to involve her in my personal issues, and I wasn't as considerate of her as I should have been, which was my biggest mistake.<br><br>The whole situation has been eye-opening for me, and I will seek help to work through my issues.<br><br>Thank you for all the helpful comments and advice.