EX FEMINIST men in their 20's : Your goddamn planet is BURNING.

For those who don't know, I'm a female ex-feminist. I've been lurking this sub for several months and have noticed some recurring themes that I think you guys could use some outside perspective on. I'm not here to try to change your minds - I have no opinion on the content of this sub, except that I'm glad it exists as a place where men can speak freely. <br><br>1. **YOUR goddamn planet is BURNING.** You are a part of society, and you have a stake in it's future. If you think women are destroying the social contract or bringing down civilisation, then you need to be a part of rebuilding it. I'm not saying you *have to* do anything - but I am saying you *can*. <br><br>2. **You are not socially isolated because you are a loner - you are isolated because women are not as good at friendships as men are.** I don't mean individual men and women, I mean as a sex. I see a lot of posts from men who grew up surrounded by mostly female friends, and as soon as they hit puberty, these friendships sort of... fell away. Maybe the girls just weren't as into maintaining the friendships as the guys, or maybe they weren't as good at initiating social contact. I don't think most women are biologically equipped to create and maintain large social networks in the same way and I think that is part of why women are leading the charge towards a more atomised society. If you are concerned about social isolation, make an effort. You know how sometimes a girl will text you and say "Oh, sorry I haven't texted you in so long! I've just been so busy/ lazy/ distracted" ? Women do that because barely any men initiate with us. The last time a guy asked me out on a date, I was 13 and he asked me to be his valentine at the school dance. (I turned him down.) Seriously, if you want to start dating, make a move. Sooner or later a guy will say yes and you can have a date. <br><br>3. **If you have an issue with women, and you can trace the source of that issue back to your mother...** Then you have mommy issues. I can't believe I need to say this but you don't get to make sweeping statements about half the population because of a personal family problem. Yes, there may be some overlap between the two, but there is a difference between your mother and women as a whole, and if you can't see that then I'm sorry for you but you need therapy. Kudos to those of you who have recognised this and are seeking professional help.<br><br>4. **The only reason you think all women are stupid and shallow is because you are such a misanthrope that you think everyone is stupid and shallow.** I'm saying this as someone who has been there and done that. If you read this sub much, you'll come across a lot of people playing "women's intellect is X and men's is Y". It's an old debate. (At least as old as Plato, possibly older.) My opinion is that there is no such thing as 'intellectual difference' between men and women - only differences in personality, because personality is not distributed equally across the sexes. In my experience, women tend to be more social and more empathetic, but also more clannish and more cliquish. I think men are more likely to form deep and abiding friendships and less likely to sacrifice individual relationships for the sake of social status. I'm sure you all have your own opinions on the matter, but that's mine. I'm not saying that's how every woman is going to be, I'm saying that's the general bias of female friendships.<br><br>5. **The only reason you think all women are promiscuous is because you are such a misanthrope that you think everyone is promiscuous.** Same as above. I mean, if you go by the numbers, women are actually less likely than men to cheat. (By a lot.) But that doesn't mean all women are saints - and it doesn't mean all men are assholes, either. If you have low standards for people in general, don't pretend you're just anti-woman. <br><br>6. **If you think women have it easy, then don't worry about it.** I'm serious. Women are privileged. I know we are and I don't think that's a bad thing. I think we should be treated with extra care and kindness because we are the child-bearers for our species and because we are more sensitive and empathetic than men. We're a different sex and should be treated as such. But that also means men have their own privilege, and women have our own handicap. I'm sure you all know about the 'consent' debacle going on in the media right now, and the conclusion I've come to is that if women wanted such a high standard of consent, and if we wanted to make sure that men were held accountable for that standard, then we would probably be the ones initiating sex the majority of the time. Instead, women are catastrophically socially incompetent. We will barely even initiate dates, let alone sex. I think this is because women are naturally morechoosy than men when it comes to sex, and we don't like being rejected. But what that means is that all the onus is on the men to initiate and to navigate social relationships. And god forbid he gets it wrong, because then he'll be called a creep or a rapist. (I'm not saying all men are perfect - I'm just saying that one of the downsides of female privilege is that we don't know how to talk to men. Because we don't have to.) <br><br>7. **Lastly, if you want to change the way women behave, engage with us.** Don't make sweeping statements, don't make assumptions, and for the love of god don't lead with "I hate women". If you want to change someone's mind, first you have to change their heart. I was a feminist, I was pro-choice, I was pro-woman and I felt like I was part of a sisterhood. I wasn't a radical feminist - I believed in equality. But the more I learned about men and the more I learned about women, the less I agree with feminist principles. I recognise that men have a different experience of society and I recognise that the feminist movement doesn't really serve men's interests. I'm not saying all women are feminists - but I've come to agree with a lot of the things said on this sub, and I think the one thing you could do to make the world a better place is to try to connect with the women in your life. <br><br>I know I'm going to get downvoted but oh well. Thanks for reading :)