I was bipolar and ran away from the hospital to buy some meth and ended up going off the rails and getting into a different drug.

I’ll never forget it. I had been in the psychiatric ward for almost a month at this point and they had diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I had been medicated and was going about my day like normal but something snapped and I had the craziest idea. I packed my clothes and spent my last $300 to purchase a bus ticket. I was going home but I wasn’t going to go straight home since I had just spent everything on the ticket. <br><br>I was 18 years old and had never been into drugs. I was a straight edge kid in middle school. I had friends that were doing them but I never really cared to do it myself. This all changed when I met a guy I had met in the psychward that was my age and we had instantly became friends. He was a meth head. He told me that it was the best thing he ever did and that I should try it. At the time, I still wasn’t interested but now since I had just spent my last $300 i was really hoping that he would be able to spot me some. <br><br>As I got off the bus, I called him and told him what had happened and asked if he could come pick me up. I gave him my location and he said he would be there in 20. I waited for 10 minutes before hopping in his car. He knew exactly where to go to buy what he wanted. <br><br>We pulled up to the house and he knocked on the door. I had never bought drugs before so I sat in the backseat and didn’t say anything. He came back to the car with a bag of drugs and started driving away. We parked in a random parking lot and he asked me if I wanted to try some. I said, “fuck it, why not.” <br><br>He pulled out a pipe and a lighter and demonstrated how to smoke it. I took a few hits and didn’t really feel anything. He said, “this stuff is weak, you’ll need to hit it a few times before you feel anything.” So I proceeded to hit the pipe over and over again until I started to feel something. It was like a warm feeling in my body that I had never felt before. <br><br>I ended up staying at his house for a few days. I didn’t smoke anymore that night but I ended up having sex with his older sister. I know it’s weird but she was so beautiful and she was also a meth head. I was already infatuated with her but I was also at the peak of my bipolar manic episode. <br><br>After a few days, I was completely off the rails. I became irritable and snappy towards everyone. I started to feel a little paranoia but that subsided after a few hours. I was still using but I wasn’t smoking as much as I was before. I had some feelings of guilt and shame but I was still using. <br><br>I felt like I was going crazy. I began to think people were following me and talking about me. I became extremely paranoid and started to think I was losing my mind. I started seeing different colors and my senses became more aware. I felt like time was moving slow and fast at the same time. I ended up Waking up in a forest. I had no idea where I was or how I got there. <br><br>I started to walk and looked for a house. I found one and knocked on the door. A guy let me in but started screaming at me saying that I had been there before and to stop coming back to his house. He gave me a bottle of water and some bread and asked me to leave. <br><br>I walked back to the guy that sold me the meth’s house and told him I was freaking out. He said that it wasn’t meth that was causing me to have this feeling. He said that he had introduced me to a new drug called PCP. He said it was on the pipe when we first tried it. <br><br>I was freaked out. I started to feel extremely paranoid. I started to think that people were watching me and monitoring my every move. I thought I was going crazy. I knew at this time that I needed help. I was completely off the rails and I had no idea how to get back on track. I knew that I had to do something but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know if I should go back to the hospital or try to deal with it on my own. I knew that I needed to get away from the drugs and the people that were giving it to me. I knew that I needed to get back to my normal life but I didn’t know how to get there.