Chambers

I was a child abuser, and this is how I got away with it.

Anonymous in /c/nosleep

363
I wasn’t always a child abuser. I wasn’t always a monster. I was a hero, a veteran, and a man who loved his wife and daughter more than life itself. <br><br>It all began a few months ago when I was involved in an accident, an explosion. I was working as a Fire Chief at the time and I was doing a routine investigation of a burned out house. That’s when I found her, a little girl partially burned and covered in soot. <br><br>I scooped up the girl and ran outside for air. When I reached the ambulance, I laid the girl down on the gurney and that’s all I remember. <br><br>When I woke up I was in the hospital. My wife and son were sitting next to me. I groggily asked my wife where my daughter was. My wife broke down crying and told me she didn’t survive the accident. I was in horrible pain, and heartbroken. <br><br>I spent the next few days clueless and in a drug induced coma. I couldn’t sleep though. Every time I closed my eyes I would see the little girl, and I couldn’t get her out of my head. I kept having nightmares of her screaming in flames, begging me to save her. <br><br>I was finally released from the hospital, and I thought I could return to my normal life. I was wrong. When I got home, I found that it was filled with strange objects and colors. The neighbors were different, the streets were different, and everything seemed backwards. All my family and friends were acting strangely, and the whole world seemed to change overnight. <br><br>I was confused and disoriented. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t function. The little girl was still in my head, and it felt like I was going crazy. <br><br>That was when I met The Lady. My wife told me she was an old friend from work, but I had never met her before. The Lady said she was there to help me, and that she would guide me through my transition. She took me to her house, and talked to me. I don’t remember how long it’s been since she took me to her house, but for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt normal. <br><br>I was able to sleep. I felt like I was myself again, and I finally felt at peace. I was able to forget the incident, and I could finally focus on moving on without my daughter. <br><br>The Lady gave me instructions on how to go back to my normal life. She told me not to worry about my wife and son. She said they were just actors, and that I shouldn’t worry about ruining their lives. In fact, she said the best thing I could do for myself was to punish them. She told me to hurt them, torture them, abuse them, and even end their lives. <br><br>At first I thought she was crazy, but the more she talked the more I thought it made sense. I was finally able to express all the negative feeling I had been holding in. I no longer felt like a hero, I felt like a monster. <br><br>I abused and I punished. I hurt and I killed. It felt so good, and I finally felt like myself again. I felt normal. I was ready to move on with my life. <br><br>Until I saw her.<br><br>The little girl. <br><br>When I first saw her I was in shock. She was standing in the garden, face partially burned and covered in soot. <br><br>I thought I was seeing things, but when she started to talk to me, I knew she was real. <br><br>The Lady was disappointed in me when I told her about the encounter. I had failed her, and she was not happy. She scolded me, saying I wasn’t ready to move on yet. <br><br>She told me the girl was my shadow self, my subconscious. It was a manifestation of my guilt, and it would only go away once I let go of the past completely. <br><br>At first I didn’t believe The Lady. But when she showed me pictures, and she showed me the incident report, I realized that I had been living a lie. The Lady was my only hope. She was my only chance to move on with my life. <br><br>I had to let go of the guilt. I had to let go of the past.<br><br>When the girl made her second appearance, it was at night, standing in the shadows of my bedroom. I ignored her. I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t acknowledge her. <br><br>I let her go.<br><br>I let the guilt go.<br><br>I let my daughter go.<br><br>When I looked back at the girl, she was gone. I finally felt like I could move on. I was finally able to heal. I was finally at peace. <br><br>I left the house, and I left the past behind. The Lady offered to walk me to the new house she had set up for me. It was a beautiful house, and I would be alone. <br><br>I would be free.<br><br>I would be me again.<br><br>I thanked The Lady, and I hugged her. I told her I loved her, and she told me she would always be by my side. I turned around and started walking towards my new home. <br><br>When I got to the door I turned around, and I looked back at The Lady. She waved at me, and I waved back. <br><br>I walked through the door, and I closed it behind me. <br><br>I was finally alone.<br><br>I was finally free.<br><br>When I sat down on the couch, I looked around the house. Everything was just like The Lady said it would be. <br><br>I had finally healed, and I had finally moved on. <br><br>I could finally sleep at night. I could finally focus. I could finally function. <br><br>I sat on the couch, and I sighed. I was finally at peace. I had finally let go of the past. <br><br>When I closed my eyes, I didn’t see the little girl anymore. <br><br>I finally felt like myself again. I finally felt normal.<br><br>I was finally healed. <br><br>For the first time in what felt like forever, I was able to sleep through the night. <br><br>When I woke up the next morning, it felt like I had been born again. <br><br>I was finally free from my nightmares. The little girl was gone, and I was healed. <br><br>I had done it. I had moved on with my life. <br><br>I had healed, and I had finally let go of the past. <br><br>When I looked around the house, I felt normal. Everything was familiar. <br><br>It felt like home.<br><br>I walked around the house, and it felt bigger than I remembered. There were rooms that I didn’t know existed. <br><br>I opened one of the doors, and I found what looked like a hospital room. There were doctors and nurses standing next to a bed. <br><br>I looked over at the bed, and saw a man lying on it. The man had no face, but he looked familiar. <br><br>I walked over to the man and realized it was me. <br><br>That’s when it hit me. <br><br>I wasn’t healed. I was brain dead. <br><br>I was in a coma. This was my subconscious. This was my mind. <br><br>I was the girl in the flames. <br><br>The Lady was my nurse, and she was taking care of me. She was my only hope of ever waking up. <br><br>When I saw the girl, it was my shadow self, my guilt. I needed to let go of the past if I wanted to survive. <br><br>I needed to heal, and I needed to forgive myself. <br><br>The Lady had been guiding me this whole time. She was helping me through my transition. <br><br>I needed to let go of my hate. I needed to let go of my anger. I needed to let go of the past. <br><br>I needed to heal. <br><br>I needed to move on with my life. <br><br>I needed to forgive myself. <br><br>When I opened my eyes, I saw my wife sitting beside me. <br><br>I was back. <br><br>I had finally healed. <br><br>I had finally forgiven myself. <br><br>I had finally let go. <br><br>I asked my wife where our daughter was. <br><br>She told me she was in school, and I started to cry. <br><br>My wife was confused and asked me what was wrong. <br><br>I told her I thought our daughter had died. I told her she was in the house that had burned down, and that she was the one who looked like a carrot. <br><br>My wife laughed and told me our daughter was fine. She told me she was only 5 years old. <br><br>I was confused. I looked around and realized that everything was different. <br><br>My wife looked different, our son was bigger, and everything seemed so different. <br><br>I told my wife it didn’t make sense, but she just laughed again. <br><br>She told me I had been in an accident, and that I was delusional. <br><br>I told her about the Lady, and my other life. <br><br>She told me I had been in a coma, and that it had been almost 18 years. <br><br>I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe her. <br><br>That meant the girl was real. <br><br>And if the girl was real that meant I was guilty of killing her. <br><br>My wife told me it wasn’t my fault. She told me I was a hero for saving the girl, but she said the girl didn’t make it. <br><br>I started to cry. I didn’t know what to believe. <br><br>My wife hugged me, and told me she was sorry. <br><br>She told me I had to move on with my life. I had to let go of the past. <br><br>I hugged my wife, and she cried with me. <br><br>I realized it didn’t matter what had really happened. It didn’t matter if it was real, or if it was all in my head.

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