Why I stopped having sex with men

Why I stopped having sex with men<br><br>When I was a teenager, I was sexually assaulted by an intimate male friend, and after that I began to feel a deep-seated revulsion towards men as a group. The way they regarded women, the way they spoke about us and treated us when they thought no one was looking, filled me with visceral disgust. No matter how much respect I felt for men I trusted, I couldn’t help but feel that revulsion, which I knew was unfair to the men I trusted. I struggled with my feelings of disgust towards men, and particularly towards sex and my own sexuality.<br><br>My sexual assaults were kind of like an initiation ritual. They didn’t only make me feel vulnerable and powerless, they also made me realize that my body wasn’t my own and that I was an object for male gratification. And I was left with the trauma of that realization, that my body was not under my control, that it was subject to the will of men. I tried to shake off that feeling by having consensual sex. I wanted to own my sexual desire, I wanted to be able to choose who I had sex with. I wanted to enjoy it. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling of disgust. So I stopped having sex with men.<br><br>I didn’t stop having sex with men because I was angry with them, or because I hated them. I stopped having sex with them because I value my bodily autonomy and my mental health. I stopped having sex with them because I want to own my sexuality and not be vulnerable to their malevolence. I stopped having sex with them because I don’t want to be an object for their gratification, or a target for their violence. I stopped having sex with them because I want to feel safe and in control over my body.<br><br>I was sexually assaulted when I was 17 and I stopped having sex with men when I was 20. Since then, I have only had sex with women. I never planned to stop having sex with men, and I never thought I would stop having sex with men. But I feel better for it. I feel healthier to not be sexually engaged with men. I feel safer. I am happier.<br><br>I would recommend it.