How to locate my new stepbrother this holiday season so I can make my move?

I dont know if I should post. Im a girl. 17. I dont know how to say this. He’s my age. I know him. He’s so cute and I’ve been in love with him for years. My mom got married to his dad like 2 months ago. I’ve known him since we were little. I was in love with him. I was an idiot and never told him. I didn’t tell anyone. I thought he didn’t feel the same way so I thought it would be awkward. Well he moved away for middle school and I didn’t see him in years. <br><br>Now he’s back. I just found out he’s my brother. I know it’s incest and I know it’s wrong and I know it’s disgusting and I know it’s against the law. I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t help myself. I’m so in love with him. I’m sorry I dont know what to do. I know it’s wrong. I just want to be in love with him. I want to be close to him. I want to see him. I hope he doesnt think I’m gross. I dont know. I know it’s wrong. Im sory. So my question is how do I find him this holiday season? Are there any ways I can find him in private?