AITA for saying my boyfriend has to choose between me and his mom

(43/F) and (26/M) have been dating for 5 months. I live in Ohio and he in Pennsylvania, but we are moving to Ohio after his graduation in a few weeks. He has chosen to exclude his mom from the move (she lives in New Jersey). She is kind of a piece of work. She is a very controlling and manipulative person. She has called me an online girlfriend and tried to get him to move near her. She tries to get him to do everything he wants to do but also cater to her. <br><br>My boyfriend has since realized he doesn't want to live near her. I have seen a side of him when he is away from her, he seems so much more relaxed and not like a slave to her demands. He told me she is a very controlling and manipulative person. I agreed because I have experienced that first hand. <br><br>We have talked about how his family is very controlling and that his father was abusive. He admits that his family isn't a healthy one and he is trying to get away from it. <br><br>We have made plans to make a new life together away from her. I have asked about his mom and if he plans to cut her out. He said that he doesn't want to be distant with her, he wants to stay in her life. He wants to call her once in a while, he wants to go on occasional dates with her, and he wants to help her out every once in a while. When I expressed my concern for why he wants to keep her in his life when he says she is so controlling and manipulative he said I don't understand. He said she is a complex person and that I have a "black and white" view of her. He said she has always been a mother figure to him so he doesn't know how to not have that. <br><br>This really pissed me off. I said he needs to make a choice between me and her. He got mad at me and said he doesn't need to make a choice because I just don't understand. I told him if he can't see how she is hurting him, I don't want to be with him. He told me I was being dramatic and that I have no right to tell him to choose between his mom and me because I don't understand the relationship they have. <br><br>I told him I'm ending things between us, he better find someone else who can accept his "complicated" relationship with his mom. He called me a jerk and a dramatic overreactor. <br><br>I'm wondering if I am the asshole. My friends agree with me that he should have to make a choice between us and his mom.