I didn’t go to my own funeral

I'm a 27 year old female and I have been an ICU nurse for 6 years. This is a story from my first year as a nurse, I don't know why it came up in my head today but ever since then I have been unsettled about the whole situation. <br><br>I worked in a big hospital in Chicago. My shifts were usually 7am-7:30pm. I took care of all kinds of patients, but as a new nurse, I was often assigned to "easier" patients (nothing about taking care of a critically ill patient is easy but that's a different story).<br><br>One day I had a patient who was a 45 year old male, married with 3 kids. He was married to his high school sweetheart who was in her 40s also. He was a nice person, he had close relationship with his wife and his kids. He was a healthy person, gym everyday, good diet and no bad habits. I'm not sure what he did for work, I think some high paying sales job or something like that. I just remember his wife calling him "my hot husband" haha. I took care of him for three days, all was going well for him, he had a good chance of recovery and we were planning on sending him to the floor the following day. He was doing good, his vitals were good and he was breathing on his own. I pushed his meds at 6:55am and he was awake, but seemed a little out of it. I thought he seemed confused but he was actually doing better, I didn't think too much of it. I gave him his morning anti anxiety/ anti seizure meds which made people a little bit loopy sometimes. I chartered everything down and left for the day at 7:30am. <br><br>The next day when I got to work at 7am, his monitor was placed above the nurses station. Usually when a patient is not assigned to one of the nurses, it will say "not assigned" on the screen in a big red letters. His screen however had my name on it, I was very confused. I asked my co-workers if I got him today, they all said no. I thought maybe I was dreaming. At 7:30am, my managers had a meeting with all of the staff to announce a tragic event that happened the day before. Basically what happened was after I left, he went into a cardiac arrest but nobody found him for over 15 minutes and he had a brain damage. They were unable to save him sadly and he had passed away around 8pm, but they were able to save his organs and he saved several peoples lives. His family donated all of his organs and they were able to get matching organs for several people who desperately needed transplants. At the end of the meeting, my manager approached me, she told me that the family was very thankful for the care that he received from our staff and they wanted to say their good byes. She told me that his wife wanted to specifically meet me because I was his last nurse before he had his fatal heart attack, and that she wanted to thank me in person. She gave me the name of the conference room they were in and I went there. When I walked into the room, his wife was sitting on a couch with her 3 kids. They all looked very sad and distraught. His wife told me "thank you so much for taking care of him, we are so grateful and we will never forget you". I was very emotional, I never lost a patient before and it was a very sad and eye opening experience for me. She told me that they were going to have a closed casket funeral the next day because of COVID. She also told me "you're welcome to come, but please don't feel like you have to". I told her "I'll be there". <br><br>The next day I got off work at 6pm, my shift was cut short. I drove to the address they gave me, it was a funeral home in a suburb. I walked in and there was a sign saying his name, and underneath it said "survived by his beautiful and clever wife and his 3 beautiful kids". It was sweet. There were 2 doors next to it and I figured one of them was the funeral area. I walked into one of them and there was an empty room filled with chairs, I figured this was it. I sat in the front row, and waited. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes but nobody showed up. I thought this was weird, I texted his wife and said "hi, I'm here, I'm so sorry for your lost". She didn't text back but I assumed she was busy dealing with the funeral arrangements. 20 minutes, 25 minutes, 30 minutes and still nobody showed up. I walked outside and walked around the parking lot but it was empty. I walked back inside and walked to the other door next to the sign, maybe I walked into the wrong room. When I opened the other door, there was a room filled with people, this must be it I thought. Our eyes met, his wife met my eyes, I gave her the "hey, I'm here" smile and waved at her but she didn't smile or wave back. She looked terrified. I thought maybe she was still grieving but something felt very off. I decided I shouldn't be here and I walked back outside to my car and left immediately. I thought it was so strange but I didn't think too much about it, I was very emotional and sad. Maybe it was a mistake? But when I got home I got a text from her saying "thank you so much for coming". I still have chills thinking about this. Was this a prank? A sick joke? I don't know but I'm so glad I left.<br><br>UPDATE/ EDIT: I just read a comment that made me remember, he was a car salesman, that's what he did for work. Also I'm going to try to find her on fb, maybe she blocked me idk. I'll keep you guys posted. <br><br>UPDATE: GUYS Omfg I found her on fb. She is actually a real person, and she looks just like what I described. Her profile picture is her and her husband and it says "I love my hot husband" I'm shook. I'm going to message her. <br><br>UPDATE: I messaged her, she seems really nice, and she was very confused about the whole car salesman thing and my name. I asked her what happened to her husband since I'm sure he didn't die. And she said that she doesn't know anything about an ICU, all she knows is that her husband had a brain damage, but it was from an accident and not an illness. He got into a bad car accident and had a stroke, they couldn't save him and he passed away. I'm glad that she is okay, but this whole experience was really really weird. I asked her "are you sure you don't remember me? I'm your husband's nurse" and she replied "no I don't think so". This whole situation is so strange and confusing and honestly a little scary. Also, I don't understand what her "I love my hot husband" profile picture is about If he passed away 2 years ago.