I was an idiot, and it cost me my Queen

~11 year old at the time~<br><br>The day my mom died was the most traumatic and harsh experience of my life, for reasons beyond just losing a mother.<br><br>When I was 8 years old, my mom had me next to her, right beside my dad on an avalanche. We all wore avalanche airbags, but only two of us were wearing an avalanche transciever. My dad, and my mom. I was below the age of carrying any avalanche devices, they were all too big for me, but an avalanche hit anyway. My mom died.<br><br>As a result of that, I became afraid of avalanches. I became afraid of skiing too, even when I was alone. While my dad became all the more resolute in taking me out, out of his own grief and sense of responsibility. He became harsher, meaner, and almost violent. He took me out to the slopes, and he made sure I skied every single time. It was an avalanche that killed my mom, but it was my dad’s hand that got to me.<br><br>That’s why~ I did something I regret to this day. On one day out, he forced me out, I became angry. I was 11 but still, I was almost right in front of Queen’s Tiara all~ the~ time whenever I went out with my dad but I just never took the chance, I never skied it myself. I took the chairlift that day, and I took the leap, and I skied down. While my dad cursed at the top of his lungs.<br><br>I quickly realized he was right. I was an idiot. I could not pass that slope, I was overcome with fear even before I entered it, and even though I tried, with every cell of my body, I could not ski. I failed.<br><br>I escaped that day almost, but not fully. I escaped with an avalanche, and a fractured hip, and I had to spend two weeks in the medical center while my dad was livid at me, but I still took the day off. I did not ski but I still did not listen to my dad. He never took me out~ again.<br><br>~16 year old at the time~<br><br>My dad and I never really gotten along all~ that~ well, at least whenever it came to skiing. He was a pro, I was not. I was good, but I was never good enough for him. He always harshly critiqued me and he always compared me with Queen. I was born to be~ a~ Queen but I was an idiot when I was younger, I got scared. My dad~ never~ forgave me, at least whenever it came~ to~ skiing. I~ was~ never~ good~ enough~ for~ him~ but~ I~ was~ still~ a~ Queen,~ and~ he~ knew~ it.<br><br>I got to ski a lot while I was~ at~ boarding~ school. There were a lot of ski teams and ski clubs there, and I~ got~ to~ ski with them whenever~ I~ was~ feeling~ low. I started~ to~ brave~ the~ slope~ again. Queen Tiara~ was~ still~ all~~ the~~ way~ at~ the~ top~ of~ this~ mountain,~ and~ I~ was~ still~ afraid~ of~ it. But~ I~ was~ taking~ a~ leap. I~ made~ sure~ I was~ braver,~ and~ I~ was~ brave enough~ to~ brave~ it~ again.<br><br>I~ did~ not~ tell~ my~ dad. He~ never~ took~ me~ out~ anymore,~ but~ I~ still~ did~ not~ want~ to~ hear~ his~ harsh~ voice. I~ was~ a~ Queen,~ atleast~ to~ myself,~ but~~ I~~ was~ still~ scared~ of~ an~ idiot~ who~ was~ once~ my~ dad.<br><br>I~ took~ the~ leap~ again~ alone~ one~ day,~ while~ noone~ was~ looking~ at~ me. I~ was~ a~ ghost,~ a~ black~ sheep,~ a~~ hillbilly. But~ I~ was~ a~ Queen. I~ was~ a~ Queen~ who~ was~ breaking~ the~ harsh~ shackles~ of~ her~ past~ in~ order~ to~ reclaim~ her~ rightful~ throne~<br><br>I~ was~ overcome~ with~ avalanche~ right~ as~ I~ gotten~ to~ the~ Tiara. I~ was~ buried~ underneath~ snow,~ and~ noone~ but~ my~ dad~ was~ nearby~ to~ save~ me. But~ he~ never~ came.<br><br>I~ almost~ gave~ up. I~ was~ about~ to~ brave~ the~ slope,~ and~ I~ almost~ gave~ up. While~ I~ was~ underneath~ snow~ all~ alone.<br><br>But~ then~ I~ remembered~ her. She~ took~ the~ leap~ one~ day,~ just~ like~ me. For~ ~me. She~ was~ a~ Queen,~ not~ just~ a~ Tiara~ on~ a~~ slope~ to~ a~~ mountain~ noone~ ever~ skis~ on. She~ was~ a~ Queen,~ and~ I~ was~ a~ Queen. Even~ if~ it~ cost~ her~ her~ life.<br><br>I~ used~ my~ ski~ pole~ to~ gotten~ out~ of~ snow~ and~ I~ saved~~ myself. I~ skied~ down~ the~ slope,~ and~ I~ cried~ all~ day. My~ dad~ kissed~ me~ on~ my~ forehead~ that~ day~ and~ I~ almost~ felt~ again.<br><br>Almost.