AITA for leaving my step-daughters wedding after I gave her a “gentle” message to “grow up”?

My son got married 8 months ago. He and his wife decided to have a small show, with only 20 guests and aunt Mary was not invited. His reason was he didn’t want to “ruin the day” by having drama. Turns out aunt Mary heard thru the grapevine and showed up! She began yelling at my son and calling him a “spoiled ass” for not inviting her and that she was family and deserved to be there. (I have no idea how she heard). We were all shocked. Things got so bad security escorted her out. <br><br>My step-daughter got married 2 weeks ago. We had a reception at our home. The day before her wedding she told me aunt Mary and her family were coming “and if that was a problem, I could leave” that she was family and I wasn’t. (note. I am the one who paid for the wedding) I said that “was fine” because I knew aunt Mary wasn’t coming. <br><br>Well once the reception was in full swing, I noticed my son pull up. I walked outside to find out what he was doing. He said “aunt Mary and her family are on their way” that she “had called him earlier and was going to ruin the day again” and he wanted “to be there to stop her”. <br><br>Just then I see them pull up. I ran up the driveway and met them. They were all dressed up, I asked if she had actually been invited. She said no, but she was coming anyway. So I went off. I told her, she had no right to ruin our families days. She heard me and told her “turn around, and go home, grow up” and leave us alone. <br><br>I meant grow up like, act like a normal adult, but the whole “grow up” thing got back to my step-daughter who made a whole big ass scene, that I was yelling at her aunt. That I was attacking her family, when it was aunt Mary who was ruining her day. <br><br>My wife said I was “rude” and that I “bullied” aunt Mary. Both my step-daughters and my wife are pissed at me. I told them all aunt Mary was ruining everything and needed to be stopped.