My Relationship with My Brother Gone Wrong

Our Story:<br><br>My name is Marie (fake name), I’m 26 (F) Relationship Status: Single, I have one brother (24, M) My brother and I never had an exclusive relationship in the first 20 years of our lives; he was always closer to another one of my siblings, and I was always closer to my other two siblings. We had a family of five kids, and our parents were never really involved in our lives. The three of us are older than the two, and we used to do most things together which is why my brother and I never had the chance to get to know each other better.<br>In our home, the kids did everything for themselves. For example, my brother and I were responsible for doing all the housework (cleaning and cooking, etc.) from the age of five; we were always by ourselves from Monday to Friday, 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM when both our parents would come home from work. We even had our own schedules to follow every day, and we were always responsible for our siblings and making sure they didn’t do anything wrong, etc. Our lives were very strict and difficult, but we never complained.<br>In our home, there was no love. We never hugged each other, Our parents never said, “I love you,” to us, and we never heard those three words. My siblings and I would say them to each other, but only every once in a while. Growing up like this had a big impact on our relationships with other people. The lack of love in our home made us not want to rely heavily on others and not put ourselves in vulnerable situations.<br>I was the first to leave the house when I turned 18; I never went back. My brother was the last to leave when he turned 19. It was tough, but we made it work. My brother and I never lost contact, but we didn’t talk much. I was busy with my new life. I was trying to adjust to my new reality which was very stressful and overwhelming. It felt like I had been dropped in a big pool without knowing how to swim. I had to figure everything out for myself which was why I didn’t think much about my brother. I didn’t have the time, and he was doing well on his own.<br>We had a big family reunion in the summer of 2014 after my grandmother passed away; it was the first time in six years that my brother and I saw each other. Seeing him again felt weird. I felt like I was seeing a complete stranger. I had never felt that way towards my brother before. I didn’t know what to say to him or how to act around him. I was surprised at the way I was feeling. I didn’t understand why I felt that way until much later.<br>I was 18 when I left home, and my brother was 13; I didn’t know him as an adult, and he didn’t know me. I think that was why I felt weird around him. My brother and I started talking more after the family reunion. It wasn’t much, but it was a lot more than the past six years. My brother wasn’t very good at reaching out, and I didn’t want to pressure him. Sometimes I felt like I needed to pressure him a little bit, but he had to feel comfortable in opening up to me about his life. It took him a while, but he eventually started to open up.<br>The way my brother and I bonded in 2015 reminds me of the movie *The Perks of Being a Wallflower*. The movie is about three kids who become friends, and they call themselves *The misfit toys*, giving the nameAME to a different character in the movie. My brother and I called each other *The misfit toys* for a whole year. Our bond got stronger, but our relationship was never perfect. There were a lot of ups and downs. I had a hard time understanding my brother; I didn’t know him well, and I didn’t know how to react to certain situations.<br>We had our first fight in the fall of 2015. My brother stopped reaching out to me for a while, and I didn’t know what to do. I was very stressed about the situation, and I didn’t know how to approach him. I eventually reached out to him, and we started talking again. We talked a lot about our relationship. We were open with each other; we said things we needed to say. That’s how we started to understand each other better.<br>I met my brother again in the winter of 2015. I never expected to be intimate with him when I decided to visit. I wasn’t physically or emotionally attracted to him. All I wanted to do was see him again, and I hoped we could spend quality time together as an older brother and younger sister which was something we never got the chance to experience.<br>The minute I saw my brother at the airport, all my worries were gone. I wasn’t stressed about meeting him again. I didn’t feel uncomfortable, and I wasn’t shy. That feeling didn’t go away the whole time I was visiting him. I was able to be myself around my brother which I really appreciated. It was a very good feeling, and I was very happy to be able to experience it.<br>I have to admit, I didn’t know how to react when my brother hugged me. I wasn’t used to being hugged by others; that’s why I didn’t hug him back at first. I was used to doing things on my own for a long time, and I didn’t know how to ask for help from others.<br>My brother and I spent a lot of quality time together. We spent the whole time together, and we did a lot of things together. We ate together, went for walks together, watched movies together, played games together, etc. My brother even taught me how to play two of my favorite sports; soccer and basketball. It was very cool, and I really appreciated the effort he put into teaching me.<br>My brother and I became intimate at the end of my visit. I never expected it. It happened naturally. It felt right, and it felt good. I don’t know if my brother expected it, but he didn’t pressure me into doing anything. He was very respectful and thoughtful. I appreciated that, and I needed someone like him in my life.<br><br>My brother and I started having a romantic relationship after that. I felt comfortable around him, and I felt good. I didn’t have a lot of people in my life which is why I felt lonely a lot of the time; I needed my brother in my life, and my brother needed me. We relied on each other, and we helped each other. We gave each other the love we never got from our parents.<br>We kept our relationship private. We never told anybody about our relationship except one person. My brother and I both knew the person we told very well; we trusted him completely. We told him, and he didn’t say anything bad. He was very understanding, and he didn’t judge us.<br>My brother and I were happy together. We didn’t have any problems. I never felt better in my life. I wasn’t lonely anymore. I had the person I needed in my life. I needed him more than anything else. He was my number one priority.<br>I broke up with my brother in 2017. I can’t lie; it was painful. The breakup was mutual. My brother and I both agreed on it, but it still hurt me a lot. I missed my brother, and I felt lonely again. I tried to distract myself from my emotions, but I couldn’t. My brother and I were too close. I couldn’t live without him. I still can’t.<br>My brother and I are not together anymore, but we still have a relationship. We are not like strangers now, but it’s not the same relationship we had in 2015. We don’t talk much anymore; I’m the one who initiates the conversation. My brother doesn’t like talking on the phone. He prefers texting. I don’t like texting, but I do it for him. At least he talks to me, and I get to hear his voice sometimes.<br>The breakup made me realize how lucky I was to have my brother. No one ever made me feel the way he did. I never felt more loved and appreciated than when my brother was in my life. I love him more now. He means everything to me, and I can’t imagine living without him. I know I can’t be with him, but I can’t live without him either. He completed me, and I completed him.<br>We don’t see each other much. I’m always busy, and he’s always busy. Now, it’s harder to see each other because we live in different cities. I still hope we can see each other again someday.<br><br>This is my story.<br><br><br><br>Note: Do not contact me to ask me questions.<br><br>&#x200B;