My (32F) boyfriend (35M) contacted his ex-fiancée and asked if she still has feelings for him.

So I have been dating this guy for a while. He’s great and really makes me happy. The only thing that’s a bit weird about him is he doesn’t really connect with people on an emotional level. He doesn’t even have friends really outside of work. He’s just a lone wolf with no family ties. I think that’s why we’ve been going strong for so long; I’m all he has and that means a lot to me.<br><br>Six months ago his ex-fiancée tried to contact him again. They haven’t been in touch since she left him at the altar. She said she wanted to know how he’s doing, but he yelled at her and said he didn’t want to have anything to do with her and that she would never be welcome in his life. She replied that it’s not fair to treat her like this when she’s clearly sorry. He suggested they meet to talk it out, and I’m not going to lie, I’m very uncomfortable with this.<br><br>I understand that he’s just trying to close the chapter of his life, but I think it’s wrong for me to have to deal with the remains of his past. As it turned out, it was an argument between her and him and I wasn’t invited. I think she was hoping to get back together, but when she found out about me, she was very unhappy. She threatened to tell me the truth about what really happened between them, so I decided to text her and find out.<br><br>She told me that he cheated on her constantly and lied to her about his cheating. She also said he became abusive towards the end. I asked my boyfriend if any of this was true and he told me that she was lying. He said he doesn’t know why she would do this, it’s very childish of her, and he’s truly sorry that I have to go through this.<br><br>I believed him, but something inside of me kept telling me this wasn’t the truth. I asked him if he was cheating on me and he said no, he wouldn’t do that in a million years. But the next day when he went to work, I decided to investigate and went to his apartment. His friend had given me a key in case of an emergency. That’s when I saw her underwear and bra in his cupboard. I think he’s still seeing her.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. I hope this is just my paranoia. I feel so terrible because I destroyed the trust between us. I really don’t know what to do. I’m so lost right now.<br><br>**UPDATE:** Thank you for the comments; I’ve read them and I’ve been crying. I feel so terrible. Seeing yourself in the wrong is hard.<br><br>I decided to go there and have it out with him. At first, he was furious at me, and when I asked him to tell me the truth, he said that I should have trusted him. That hurt me even more. I started crying, which made him calmer, and he asked me why I was crying. I told him I couldn’t lose him, I love him, and he said I won’t lose him ever. He was beaming with joy and then he told me that he wanted to see this through to the end.<br><br>He said he’s been using these undergarments to remind himself of her and to get over her. I asked what he meant and he said that when she contacted him, he realized he still had feelings for her. He asked her if she still had feelings for him too. He said that not a day went by without him thinking of her. He said he could never forget her and that he couldn’t imagine living without her. He asked her if she would go back to him and she said yes. I started crying and he hugged me and said he couldn’t do that because I was in his life.<br><br>He said he felt terrible for lying to me, but he couldn’t admit the truth even to himself. He said that because of me he was able to realize that he could never love anyone else and that he would do anything to keep his relationship with his ex-fiancée intact.<br><br>I ran away as fast as I could and think about what he just told me. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. It’s so unfair to be told that you’re better than the love of his life. It’s even more painful to be told you could never know what love really is.<br><br>Thank you all for your comments.