My sons are ruining my life

My sons are 19 and 22. One has severe autism and the other has schizophrenia. My youngest son was diagnosed at 3. The oldest was 13. My youngest son with the severe autism is non verbal and very violent. He has thrown objects through windows, punches holes through the walls and has broke many appliances. He also destroys his car seats and wheelchairs. He's allergic to everything so finding medication for him to behave is difficult. Some medications he has so many side effects, we'd rather have a violent child then him all dopped up. He also has dyspraxia and the most loathing thing about this is he doesn't care. He doesn't have any remorse and does it intentionally. He also is self harming. He's never had medical care besides doctor visits and hospital stays. He's never had therapy, speech or occupational therapy. I just don't have time and we cannot afford it. <br><br>My 22 year old, his behavior is starting to resemble his little brother. I honestly believe he's having schizo episodes so bad he's hearing voices to do certain things and I don't know how to help him. I've called many mental health facilities in my state and they only care if they're threatening suicide. <br><br>I'm tired. I'm tired of my youngest son ruining everything. I'm tired of my oldest sons violent outbursts. I'm tired of my autism son walking in on me when I'm using the restroom. I'm tired of my house being a mess. I'm tired of putting up this facade saying "we're fine". I'm tired of my oldest son being a bum. I'm tired of my youngest son being violent. I'm tired of my husband going to work and leaving everything on me. I'm tired of not having a break. I'm tired of not being able to care for my two sons. I'm tired of not having a marriage because he works so much. I'm tired of feeling like an in home care worker. I'm tired of not having a VACATION from it all. I'm just tired.