My guy turned into a different person?

Back then, when I was 17, I fell in love with my cousin. We were incredibly close and I was all but his girlfriend by the end of it. I am female, I will call my cousin Max. He was 24 back then, we are done elderly cousins, both, me all but childless, with him I am the only guy. He was just a few month younger than my mother. He was all but my brother basically, we spent all our lives together. We even went to the same school all the way through 12th grade. He was so kind, loving, selfless, just perfect. We kissed one day, and that led to the most intimate moments in my life. From this basically, we kissed and I let him have sex with me. We did not really care about any boundaries, and he was so kind that he was the first person to introduce me to sex. It was not really violent and I loved him. He was just so kind and I knew he will never hurt me. He was all but my boyfriend, we had a 7 year age difference between us, but he was, well all but my brother. He even taught me the most basic things in life. He even taught me how to ride a bike, because my parents were busy and only saw me once a day, we had a basically single person upbringing, even though our parents were not single but busy all the time. He helped me getting dressed and even stayed the night in my room. It was all just so intimate because I was just so close to him and I wish I could have been with him my entire life, and we planned to get married. But he turned into a different person and there was something between us that was not normal. I just basically states the facts how it was, without any judgements. My sister was a classic "wow guy, this must have been so hard for you" to be honest, if he was a girl I could not have basically states the facts how it was, without any judgements. My sister was a classic "wow guy, this must have been so hard for you" to be honest, if he was a girl I could not have done it, but he was a guy and I loved him and he was a part of my life since my birth. He was all but my big brother. From this 7 year basically age difference, he was even bigger than a big brother, he knew all the answers to my questions how the world works and basically taught me how to have a sexual intercourse. basically, we states the facts how it was, without any judgements. Our parents basically states the facts how it was, without any judgements. I believe my mother did not want me to get hurt, she just made sure that her states the facts how it was, without any judgements. We do not even have kids, both, me all but childless, with him all but sisterless, but we do not even have a child of our own, so why must it be so bad, hmm? 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