My new job was just temporary... until I read the manual

I’d been looking for a job for months, and my wallet was beginning to look like a Ken doll. So, when I saw the ad for a janitorial position in an office building, I didn’t hesitate for a second. It was supposed to be a temporary gig until they could hire someone else, but I figured why bother looking for anything better when I already had a job lined up and student loans hovering over me?<br><br>My shift started at 5pm and ended at midnight. I thought that was really late, but when I asked, my boss just waved it off, saying that the office closed at 4:30. I might be a little lonely, but hey, it was a job.<br><br>The first thing they handed me was a thick manual with “Janitorial Information” written on the front page. According to the boss, it was just company policies and stuff, but what caught my eye was the warning label on the inside that said something like “DO NOT TAKE THIS MANUAL OUTSIDE THE OFFICE PREMISES” or something like that. <br><br>It also came with a keycard that let me into a supply closet in the basement, where I was meant to put the manual after my shift.<br><br>It was obviously a little odd, but I thought nothing much of it at first, especially since the boss also gave me a mini-tour of the office building, explaining where the basic offices, bathrooms, and kitchen are. It was all pretty standard.<br><br>I was starting to wonder if I was going to be bored out of my mind, but then the real fun started. At the end of my boss’s tour, he handed me a tablet with a map of the office and a few notes scribbled on it, all in all caps. <br><br>* IMPORTANT: PLEASE DRINK FROM PROVIDED WATER COOLER, NOT SINK<br>* DO NOT LINGER ON ANY FLOOR LONGER THAN YOU HAVE TO<br>* PLEASE BE AWARE OF ONE HOUR LIGHTOUT EVERY NIGHT<br>* PLEASE KEEP MANUAL UNDER YOUR PILLOW<br>* PLEASE DO NOT USE ELEVATOR AFTER 10PM<br>* DO NOT REMOVE STRING FROM THE MANUAL