I killed my son

I failed. It's all my fault he tuned out this way. I can't stop thinking about those words. No matter how hard I try.<br><br>He’s autistic. 13. Was doing well on the day he died. We were celebrating his brothers birthday. <br><br>It was late at night. We went to check on him and he wasn't breathing. We got him emergency help but it was too late. He’s gone.<br><br>He was all I had left of her. He remind me of her in every way and now he’s gone too. I failed to look after them both. I always felt like I was failing my son when he was alive. <br><br>I can’t stop crying. I want to scream and shout at everyone who says I did everything I could. They were wrong. I don’t want to live anymore. I am so tired.<br><br>I should have done more.<br><br>Please if you have a problem with your mental health, please do something about it. I didn’t and it costs the life of someone I love. <br><br>I am sorry for everything I didn’t do for you. I’m sorry I didn’t help you more. I’m sorry I didn’t save you. I should have done more.<br><br>That’s my cross to bear now.<br><br>Please, I beg of you do something do you don’t end up like me.