My wife “baby-trapped” me

I put baby-trap on the title in quotation marks because I’m not sure what she did is the actual definition of baby trap, it’s just the closest thing I am able to think of. <br><br>My wife (aka Cheri 33) and I (33) got married 4 years ago. We’ve known each other for almost 10 years. <br><br>After a year of marriage we started comparing our dreams about our futures, and we found out we’re pretty compatible. So we started to plan our future.<br><br>The first thing we talked about is where we will live. I want to live in a big city because there are plenty of job opportunities if I ever get in a difficult job situation. My wife wanted to live in a small town with few people. After lots of talking we couldn’t find a compromise so my wife suggested that whenever one of us gets a job, the other should follow. She got a job in a small town, I quit my job and followed and here we are. <br><br>We also talked about kids, I wanted 2, she wanted 3. In the end it didn’t matter because she was pregnant at the time. <br><br>At first we were shocked and panicking. We were panicking for weeks. At the end of the third month we calmed down and started to plan our future. <br><br>I wanted to move to a big city after she gave birth. I can’t ask her to move away from her job but I wanted to get a job in a big city before she gave birth, and then if I get a job she should quit hers and move. And we will live in a big city with 2 kids. Again, she said no, so we were fighting. <br><br>She said that she only wanted to live in a big city if she gets a job. Same logic she used to make me move applied here. After days of fighting we found out that she can’t quit her job in this situation. She made 2x what I made. So I had to suck it up and let her decide again. At this point I had to because she made this whole situation. <br><br>After our son was born it didn’t take long for us to realize we can’t afford to pay for child care. My wife makes more than me and it means child care will cost more than my whole paycheck. At this point we made the plan that I will quit my job and take care of our baby, and my wife will keep working. <br><br>When our son was 1 my wife got pregnant again. <br><br>I don’t think I need to say anything else, because I think you got the idea. After our children grow up and it will be easier to take care of them, we can move to a big city IF I get a job there. Until then Cheri will work and I will be a stay at home dad. <br><br>Recently we have added a dog and a cat to our family. <br><br>I can’t talk to my wife because she always reminds me of my situation and forces me to agree. I know I can’t provide for this family alone, but I’m so miserable. I hate my life, I hate this situation. <br><br>I want my wife to have a normal job and work normal hours and I also want her to stop making more than me. <br><br>I know these are not the characteristics of a stay at home parent but I hate it. <br><br>And whenever I see my wife, I hate her because she did this to me. I was forced to live the life she wanted but she seems to be fine. And she doesn’t think that I’m suffering. I think she thinks I should be happy that I can spend time with kids. <br><br>I don’t like being in the house all day and taking care of kids and pets almost alone. I don’t like to be a stay at home dad. But whenever I talk to my wife she says I should be happy. I don’t want to be happy, I want to be satisfied with my career. <br><br>Edit: I changed some stuff for clarity.