Just arrived in Dubai after 6 days in the southern Chinese province of Guangdong (population 129 million) and the airport alone clashed with cultural differences so hard I’m currently in a different world after just a 6 hour flight

I think Florida man is an insult when compared with China man. Then I came to Dubai. I’ve been in southern Chinese province of Guangdong for the last 6 days. Took 5 Uber rides and 3 trips to McDonald’s with little issues. People didn’t stare at me like a weirdo. Sometimes they would look, but then look away in embarrassment. I walked into a 7-11 and I couldn’t find the beer. I asked the guy behind the register and he said they don’t sell beer. Then he pointed down the street to where I can get beer. They were selling watermelons on the street corner and they use this balancing act to carry two watermelon on their back to a 3 wheel motorcycle thing. That’s enough to get you in prison here. The guys would hook up a generator to a street stand and fry potatoes all night. Then a guy would come through with the loudest two speaker boombox I’ve ever heard. It sounded like a heavy bass country song and they weren’t kicking him out. I sat down with a Chinese guy at McDonald’s and he ordered a Sprite. I ordered a beer. He was like “really? I didn’t know they sold beer.” Then he asked if I would buy him a beer. I said I don’t think I can because Chinese people are strict on beer with kids your age. He said “how old do you think I am?” I said 13. He said “no I’m 14.” Growing up in a strict Islamic nation, I would have to wait until I was 21 to get my first beer. He was already drinking his second. It was fun. We were having a conversation using Google translate on our phones. So this 6 hour flight from Guangzhou to Dubai made me feel like I’m in a completely different world. It’s as if Florida man moved to China and then Chinese man went to Florida (Dubai), with no regard for anyone’s rules. A kid on his first time on a plane ever puked all over the airport. Chinese woman said “don’t worry, it’s okay.” Then she tried to get him to take this fake toothpick thing to shove up his nose to stop the blood flowing out. I’m just starting at her like “are you crazy?” Then this ethnic Chinese woman that immigrated to Canada walked up to me and I said “oh good English speaker. Can you translate for me?” Then the first thing she does is she puts her hand on my shoulders and tells me to relax. Then she starts massaging my shoulders. I didn’t know we were even dating. Then I get to the gate and there’s a Chinese guy doing some weird karate noises loud, punching the air, and waving his arms around. A flight attendant walks by him and goes on with her day. She didn’t even look at him. There’s a Chinese guy with the loudest breathing I’ve ever heard. It’s like Darth Vader on a flight and no one cares. There’s another Chinese guy passed out on his chair and he’s sprawled across the floor. If this flight had left from Dubai, no one would have made it to the gate without a flight delay due to unruly passengers. They announced boarding in Mandarin. If I didn’t speak a word of Chinese, I wouldn’t have leaned they announced the boarding. The Chinese ignore the speaker and just walk past the flight attendants to the boarding area. This is a flight from China to Dubai. If a flight from Dubai to China had Chinese people as passengers, they would be kicked off the flight. They run a Chinese commercial with a lot of very quick cuts and a lot of flashing bright lights. I thought it was an epileptic seizure warning. Passengers are slowly walking by the boarding area. No one cares. I go sit down and there’s a Chinese guy laying across five chairs. No one cared. An Arab man walks up to him and bumps into him and gives him the most condescending look I’ve ever seen. Guy just doesn’t budge. Then a young Chinese kid that can’t speak English (16 yo I’m guessing) sits down next to a white woman and asks if she’s Chinese. She says no and he says “where are you from?” She says Canada and he says “how long to fly here?” He asks her how much her ticket was and she said a round trip ticket cost $400. Then he asked her where she lived in Canada and she said Vancouver. Then he asked her what her full name is and she said her Chinese surname in Mandarin. Then he says “oh we have a lot of Chinese in Vancouver.” She says “yes we do.” Then he says “a lot of Chinese live in Vancouver.” Then Chinese guy gets up and walks away. The woman looks at me with confusion and I just shrug. The flight is delayed another 30 minutes. No one cares. They make a flight announcement in English. No one cares. They announce the gate changed. No one cares. They announce the flight is delayed another three hours. No one cares. It’s like we’re not human when we’re on a flight. We’re just animals in a zoo. Then they board the flights again and no one moves. One Chinese guy walks by the flight attendant and he still walks by even though they’re not scanning boarding passes. The Chinese ignore everything as long as they get to where they’re going at a cheaper price. The flight attenents are still trying to herd us up like cats. I swear, the only thing that separates us from dogs is opposable thumbs. The Chinese guy with the loudest breathing I’ve ever heard is still breathing loudly and no one has complained. I asked a Chinese guy if he spoke English and he said yes. I asked him if he’s traveling alone and he said “yes I’m by myself.” Then a few minutes later this Chinese woman comes and sits down next to him and starts talking to him in Mandarin. Then Chinese woman gets up and walks away. Then I ask him how long is his layover. He says “me? What do you mean?” I said “how long is your layover?” He said “we’re not layovers.” I said “oh so you’re traveling together.” He just walks away. This flight is already delayed a few hours but people are combing through everyone’s luggage trying to find extra bag fees. It’s like trying to herd cats complaining about weight. I waited for 45 minutes to drop off my bag and I was the 5th person in line. Guy in front of me tried to bring a box for free. Then he tried to bring 3 bags for free. Then he asked if he could bring 2 bags for free. I always booked with China Southern thinking it would be different. But if I don’t pay for baggage fees, they would tell you to throw your bag away. A Chinese man asked the guy in front of me “excuse me sir is this the line for check in?” The guy said “do I look like a check in counter?” The Chinese man was like fuck you and walked away. The Chinese man had a little kid with him and the little kid walked up to the Hilton hotel desk and asked “where can we find a job?” The guy looked at him like he was crazy. I swear, the only thing that separates us from animals is opposable thumbs. Then a Chinese woman walked up to the guy with loud breathing and asked him if he was okay. He said “yes I’m okay.” Then she went to the guy who passed out on the floor and shook him to wake him up. He woke up half dead and started walking. Then she put her arms around him and helped him back to his chair. The Chinese guy with the loud breathing walked up to the gate and put his head down on the counter. The flight attendants walked by him and said “is there anything you need sir?” He just mumbled, without even opening his eyes, and they said “okay fine sir.” He gets up walks away. A bunch of Chinese guys gather around a public charging station with their phones and share 2 charging outlets. A Chinese kid falls asleep leaning on me and drools on my shoulder. I shift back a little and he falls asleep on the guy next to him. The guy next to him doesn’t complain. Then the Chinese guys next to him, who are all friends, start laughing about how he’s drooling all over him. One of the Chinese guys took his shoes off and put them in the overhead compartment. Arab flight attendants didn’t say anything because they didn’t notice yet. Arab flight attendant pushed the wheelchair and the handicapped guy got out of his wheelchair and walked up to the gate. The Arab flight attendant started talking to the handicapped guy about being handicapped. I thought I was in a different world. Then they announced another boarding and a bunch of Chinese people walked to the gate. Arab flight attendants only let through some passengers and not others. No one complained. Then an Arab flight attendant started speaking to the passengers in Mandarin. Yup I’m in a completely different world. Flight attendants were directing each passenger to their seat. One Chinese guy tried to sit in a different seat and one of the flight attendants said “you can’t sit there.” Then they made him take off his shoes that he put in the overhead compartment. One flight attendant accidentally found out that a guy brought a fake leg on board and hid it under the seat. Then she had him hide it again. There’s still not enough overhead storage, but complaining to Chinese man is like complaining to a dog. Then this Arab flight attendant asked a passenger “excuse me sir, is this your bag?” The Chinese guy

Just arrived in Dubai after 6 days in the southern Chinese province of Guangdong (population 129 million) and the airport alone clashed with cultural differences so hard I’m currently in a different world after just a 6 hour flight

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