AITA for telling my parents to pay me back my college tuition if they want a relationship

I was raised by parents who believed (religiously and personally) that the 1950s were the best decade ever and women should stay in the home. My father refused to allow my brother to do anything in the house he thought was “girly,” but I wasn’t allowed to play with things he thought looked “boyish,” and that included building blocks and Legos. When we were old enough, we were given chores, and even though my brother is only 2 years younger than me, his “chores” were substantially less than mine. <br><br>I did everything from mopping, dusting, laundry, sewing, and cooking while he only had to take out the trash, mow, and help my father with things in the garage. Since we only had one bathroom and three bedrooms, I had to clean that and make three beds every day. <br><br>I’m not trying to shift the focus from my issue to my upbringing, but I think background is necessary to understand why I reacted the way I did in the situation I’m about to describe.<br><br>I hated the way we were treated, and when I got older, I rebelled. I didn’t do this lightly; I’ve always believed my parents were good people. I just felt they were wrong and needed to be corrected. <br><br>When I got accepted to college, I knew if I didn’t go, I would never have the opportunity to leave the small town I grew up in. I was accepted to several schools but chose one that was out of state. My parents refused to let me go. They didn’t want me to go to college and leave. They wouldn’t let me go to a technical school or community college. They wanted me to stay in the same town and find a husband. <br><br>Not long after my 18th birthday, I left home for college. I got student loans and worked full time to put myself through school. Neither of my parents helped me. In fact, they went as far as trying to stop my enrollment several times. I cut them off completely for several years, and when I graduated, I didn’t tell them. <br><br>I moved across the country after college and only my brother knows where I am. We keep in touch by email and text. I sent him a text and asked if he could block our parents’ number before giving me his new number. He said yes and then blocked them on all of their accounts. I cut them off completely. I only use my maiden name at work, and have for the last 5 or 6 years. <br><br>His name is different from ours, so I don’t worry about them finding me through him. Neither of us has any social media, and we moved our entire lives offline several years ago. I only use a throwaway phone and Gmail account.<br><br>Two months ago, I received an email from my brother. He said our mother had texted him asking why he hadn’t visited her in so long. Apparently, she’d forgotten how to unblock numbers because she kept asking my brother to block her so she could figure it out. He said he was going to tell them where I was but only if I said it was okay. I said it was fine.<br><br>Last week, I received a call from my parents. My brother had given them my number, and my mother said they were coming to visit me. I said that was fine but I expected them to pay their own way and stay in a hotel. All of my guest bedrooms were being used by students; I rent my extra rooms out to students to help pay for their tuition. <br><br>They said that was fine and they would be there at the end of the month. I asked how they were going to afford their trip and my father said he had saved money and was going to take some time off work. I asked my mother if she was okay with taking time off and she said yes.<br><br>The day they were supposed to arrive, they texted me to say their flight had been cancelled. They said the airline had bumped them and given them vouchers for a trip at a later date but that they would be renting a hotel and a car to drive here. I said that was fine. The next day, they said the car rental place had given them a van that was in poor condition and they were stuck on the side of the road. <br><br>I offered to wire them money, but my father said no; he didn’t want me to have his bank information. I said that was fine and suggested sending the money through PayPal but he said no. He told me to put the money in his own PayPal account, and I said no again. He said he would call me to discuss it. When he called, I said all I was willing to do was send the money through PayPal. He said fine but to keep the amount small so it didn’t send red flags. I said $300 and he agreed. <br><br>After I sent him the money, he called me and said they’d gotten a new rental car and were back on the road. He said it would be a while before they arrived because they were stopping at several cities along the way. I said that was fine. So far, it’s been almost two months since they first called me. <br><br>They give me constant updates about all the issues they’re running into. I keep offering to help financially, but my father keeps refusing. They’ve blown through almost $3,000 at this point and have made it across the southern part of the country and are now on the east coast. <br><br>Every time they call, it’s to say they’re running into issues. They ran out of gas and blew out a tire. They got food poisoning at a restaurant and had to stay in the hospital. They were mugged at a rest stop and had to call the police for several hours. <br><br>I keep suggesting they stop at a big city along the way and fly here instead of driving but my father says no. He says they want to take in the sights and see what the country has to offer.<br><br>Last week, they called me again and said they’d rented a hotel room in a major city on the east coast and that my father wasn’t feeling well. Apparently, he’d gotten food poisoning again and my mother was tired of driving. My brother suggested I send them money for a plane ticket and I almost did but then decided I was going to ask for something in return. <br><br>I said all I was willing to do was buy them a plane ticket if they agreed to pay me back my college tuition. My father agreed, so I bought their plane tickets. They’re flying here tomorrow and I’m scared my father is going to try and back out of paying me. <br><br>I feel like I’m being petty if I ask for the money, but at the same time, if I don’t, I’m taking the easy way out and letting them win.