I was raped as a woman by a woman, and now I think I should compromise on my beliefs

I used to identify as a feminist and was disgusted by the fact that TERF ideologies were infiltrating discussions that were created to protect trans women to begin with. As long as a vagina is being attacked, who cares about chromosomes? The trauma is in the act.<br><br>But now I’m not so sure.<br><br>When I got raped as a lesbian, I had to compromise by listening to my attacker and ignoring hers. But if I had to do that with a man, I would have been angry.<br><br>I’m feeling like maybe my belief of honouring trans women isn’t really fair to me, and that seems selfish but it’s true. I need to honor myself.<br><br>What do you guys think?<br><br>(Assuming I’m a lesbian woman, I’m not comfortable sharing any other info YET, but thank you for the kindness and support)<br><br>Edit: Thank you everyone! Y’all have really helped me understand myself better and prioritize my own needs. I appreciate you all!<br><br>Edit 2: Okay, so I just went for a therapy appointment, and my therapist and I talked it out and I’m realizing that my attacker really isn’t trans, she just claims to be trans to get attention. I’m realizing that I couldn’t have known any better, and that I’ve been living in fear. It’s time for me to take my life back, and I’m working on that!<br><br>Edit 3: I’ve been reading Margaret Atwood’s books, and one of them mentioned in one of the books that some women are forced into becoming the patriarchy. I’m realizing that my attacker did that to me, and that I’m allowed to be angry at that. I’m also realizing I don’t have to forgive my attacker, because impunity is not forgiveness. Thank you all for your support and advice. I’m gonna be more careful. And your support has been everything! It also just hit me that for every lesbian, compromise is a rape. Only men accepted are allowed in lesbian spaces.<br><br>Also she was a lesbian… which makes it worse bc I was so angry with my own kind. This was a betrayal. I’m angry y’all better believe it<br><br>Edit 4: Some of you have judged me for having “lesbian” in my username, but you should have read the thread because I explained why I had it in my username.<br><br>Also I’m not mad at you women. I love you women. I’m mad at women that hate women. I’m grateful for this space that welcomes me.<br><br>Edit 5: A LOT of time has passed and I’m still afraid. I’ve moved states, and I’m in a relationship now. It’s been hard but I’m trying. I’m reading more books to learn more about this topic, and I’m getting more comfortable talking about it. I still do get anxiety attacks. But I know I need to live. I will start working on myself. I’m gonna take care of myself. I’m gonna read more.<br><br>Edit 6: I finally got comfortable enough to tell my girlfriend. But I did it. I told her last night. I’m currently accepted and loved. I got tears of joy in my eyes as I put the period in this sentence. I did it. I told her.