The next time Trump tweets an all-caps sentence, it'll happen in real life.

Trump's fingers flew across his phone as he rage-tweeted against the DaddyOfAllBombs that had been dropped on Afghanistan. After half a dozen tweets, he decided to write one final one in all capital letters before he went to bed:<br><br>“THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA IS A DISASTER!!!<br><br>It quickly became apparent that Trump had made a mistake with his capitalization once again, as the headlines on CNN, MSNBC, FOX, and basically all the news outlets changed to read “THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA IS A DISASTER!!!” themselves.<br><br>“Well, fuck me,” Trump said, tossing his phone over his shoulder. He looked at his wife, the First Lady Melania, and said “Let’s go to bed, milady. We’ll figure this out in the morning.”<br><br>Melania looked up from the TV she was watching and said “I’m not your fucking milady, Donny. You married me for my body, not because you were looking for a queen.” Then she continued watching cuntscray.<br><br>Sandy Hook parents were outraged in the morning when the president woke up and tweeted “KIDS ARE SO FUCKINGрессIVE!!!” While confirming that the children were indeed great contributors, many were disturbed by the president's language. Children don’t talk like that. Then, halfway through the tweetstorm, Trump tucked into a feed of all-caps: “YOUR KIDS ARE THE REASON WHY AMERICANS ARE THE STUPIDEST IN THE WORLD!!!”<br><br>The kids at school quickly zipped up their backpacks and started talking about how they were the reason Americans were so stupid. They said things like “I’m so stupid that I believe in science.” And “Wow, you’re right. I’m stupid and I don’t believe in president Trump.” Other kids replied “But I’m the stupidest of all! I want free college and socialized healthcare!” Others argued “I’m stupid because I want my parents to buy me a car that runs on gasoline.” And so on and so forth.<br><br>The next morning, president Trump woke up and tweeted “YOU NEED TO STOP TAKING MY TWEETS SO Fucking LITERALLY!!!”<br><br>President Trump looked out his window and saw the White House staff mowing the lawn. One of the ground keepers had left their gardening shears on the ground. Trump rushed out to pick it up and was stabbed to death.<br><br>Even now, the cause of death on his death certificate is listed as “Gardening Shears to the chest.” An investigation revealed that nobody was fucking around with the shears and they had simply fallen out of a man’s pocket while he was working.<br><br>There is no heaven for Trump, only a series of tubes being shoved down his throat by a snowy owl.